After church today, I went to visit Lee. As I walked up the hall to the visiting room, I thought, “Ok. This is my last prison visit.” I certainly hope it is

We’re down to 2 days.

We’ve heard that the guards like to mess with people when their time is almost up.
I guess that’s right because the visit started out with Lee getting a conduct report for arriving in the visiting room at 12:16.
He was sent from his unit at 12:00. They aren’t supposed to have movement for 10 minutes before count which is at 12:25.
It’s not Lee’s fault that his unit’s guards sent him to the visiting room. It’s their option to send them or say that the inmate has to wait.

The guard on duty today is a horrible man. He screams and yells and humiliates prisoners on a regular basis.
We heard him screaming at a lot of people today and I also heard him bellering “You’re getting a conduct report” to a few other people.
Well, about 1/2 hr before my visit was up, Lee had to use the bathroom. I said, “even with him up there? You’re going to get in trouble.”
Lee went to ask permission to use the bathroom, there were a few prisoners at the desk.

I don’t know exactly what happened, but I saw Lee sit down at the table (where they sit until the guard gives them permission to approach the desk). Then the guard screamed, “You go in the shake down room” and all the guards left the room with Lee.

I heard a LOT of banging which frightened me . Then the nasty guard came to me and said, “Your husband is going to the hole for his attitude” He grabbed Lee’s jacket and I had to leave.
I don’t even know what happened yet. I really hope that Lee bit his tongue but I wouldn’t be surprised if he said something to the guard.
I am also worried that they were throwing him around. There was so much banging that I haven’t heard ever before when I’ve been there.

My afternoon was really stressful. I have to be honest that I am worried that they hurt him. I am almost certain that they cannot keep him past Tuesday even though he was sent to the hole today.

I don’t know though. Everything about his case has been opposite of what should happen.

I guess that I will see if I can go visit him tomorrow and hear what happened. I don’t know if they will even let me visit him. If they do, it will be in the booth over the phone.

During the visit this afternoon, my husband said, “You know we just can’t give up right now. It’s like we’re running a marathon and we have to run 25 miles and we’re at mile 20 right now. We have to keep hanging on.”

I was so encouraged when he shared this with me. I am praying tonight that he is still holding onto that thought. I’m praying that he doesn’t give up.

You can pray for me too. I am feeling like “What’s the use” tonight. Everything just seems to constantly go wrong.

I’m sorry I’m late. I wasn’t home much today.

(click to enlarge)

Lee sent me this card this week. On the front he put the whole musical alphabet. As a musician, I’ve always loved the look of notes on the staff. This card is so “me”.

He took paper off of a letter I had sent him to decorate the front.

Inside he continues to write in this pretty font, “Your voice is music to my ears.” Then he wrote that I am his Stradivarius.

(You will have to read this post to find out why that is significant.)

He told me last week that he learned calligraphy just for me. After he sent me this, I told him he should learn calligraphy because it’s such a neat hobby. Also, I think that there could be a little money making potential.

I was stunned that he’d learn it just for me. He said, “You don’t think I did this because I wanted to do you?”

That thought never occurred to me–although it should have. He’s not a crafty sort of guy.

He is amazing. He’s talented and creative and he does it just for me!

Here are some blog posts I’ve read lately. I’m sharing them with you because I don’t feel like blogging about my own life right now! (Nothing is wrong–it’s just the same right now)

God & gas prices~ Convicting!

Baby Gwyneth and her mom Tricia are doing well!

It’s Frugal Friday at Crystal’s

Also check out her other blog Money Saving Mom . I’ve been getting all sorts of freebies and coupons here. I appreciate her hard work of rounding them all up and making it easy for the rest of us.

The Common Room does a good job updating about the FLDS situation in Texas

Like Merchant Ships has a great housewarming gift idea.

The Nesting Place has a great idea for rag scraps.

A beautiful betrothal story at Your Sacred Calling.

The cutest version of the Lord’s Prayer I’ve EVER heard at Susannah’s blog.

Jenn shares some good news about her son’s progress.

Jeana is home but you can check out all the things they saw in London.

Chel’s Family had a lot of fun last week. She gave me some ideas!

Christy has shared ways to spice up your marriage.

A Wife of Valor has a funny you tube for Mother’s Day (end of post)

Which posts did you check out? Which was your favorite?

I have my first “real” shoot in a week. I’m taking photos for a children’s baseball team.

I’m so thankful for the opportunity.

One of my friends had prints made of the photos I took of her little ones. When I picked them up the lady at the shop said, “Those are really cute. Your black and white looks great.”

That made my day!

My friend is framing her prints and she called me to say her mother loves them and wants to order some. She said, “Really these are works of art.”

So I’m progressing!

I’ve been applying for jobs for Lee.

So far 2 have called back. I told them where he was and that he could call them next week and they were ok with that.

That’s encouraging!

Otherwise we’re just in this weird limbo until Tuesday.

On my way home from visiting Lee today, (yes I have visited him everyday this week), I heard this song on the radio.

I haven’t thought about it in ages.

Ron Hamilton wrote this song when he lost an eye to cancer. Since that time he’s had a children’s music ministry and he is Patch the Pirate.

I sang along in the car tonight and thanked the Lord for the wonderful reminder to rejoice.

I spoke with her today.

This is a very hard thing for me to do. I don’t know exactly why. I think that the parole officers Lee has had in the past have sort of stripped me of my confidence.

I needed to ask her some questions and clarification of things she told him yesterday.

I prayed, “Ok God. She is just a person. I can do this. I can do all things through Christ.”

I called her and could tell it was not a good time for her to speak with me. She offered to call me back. So I waited.

My stomach feeling sick. My hands feeling shaky.  It’s really rather stupid, but that’s how it is.

When she called back she was pleasant to me. That is a switch. Many of them have been nasty to me.

She answered my questions. I thanked her for her time.

When I hung up, I let out a deep breath. I feel like I’ve been through a battle today.

Lee doesn’t understand why I don’t like to talk to them or why it’s so hard for me.

I think that it has to do with the fact that she has complete control of my husband. I don’t want to upset her. I don’t want to say something I shouldn’t. I don’t  want her to think that I will get in her way.

But the fact is that he is my husband. He is the other half of me. So the fact that she has so much control of him, means really that she wields much power over me in many senses.

I just have to remember that God is so much bigger.

Lee is doing well. He’s discouraged but ok.

I am tired. This is how I always handle these things.  I just get really tired.

Before I left, we prayed together. Lee prayed, “God help us to trust you. It’s hard right now. God please just give me something. Show me how you’re using this.”

That is my prayer request. That God would just give Lee “something”. That God would speak to his heart, flood him with peace, or open his eyes to whatever it is that Lee needs to see.

Lee’s parole officer came to see him today.

It was not pretty. She dumped everything on him that we hoped wouldn’t happen.

I can’t explain it all here and you won’t understand even if I did so I’m just going to say, this is going to be very difficult.

I’d prefer the “hollywood” happily ever after prison release, but that is not going to happen in our case.

We will probably have to involve our attorney. We are also going to file an appeal with her supervisor.

I talked with our Pastor today. He said that he cannot understand what is going on and what they are basing their decisions on. He used to be a parole officer in another state. He  said that this system is very different from the one he worked in.

We came to the conclusion that God knows and God has a plan.

Lee said he bit his tongue the whole time. She was waiting for him to explode and he did not. (I’m proud of him!)

He said, “Please come see me today.” So I am dropping my plans and going out to the prison.

Please just pray for God’s peace. For wisdom. For grace for all of us to handle this.

If you want to throw in a prayer for some miraculous intervention, I’d be on board with that too.