This past year has been a little different for me.
We’ve experienced two incidents that were shocking to say the least. They aren’t things easily explained so I won’t even try.
They aren’t things between family members thank the Lord. But they took a lot of energy and caused confusion and pain and to be honest a lot of head scratching.
Everything is ok now–no need to worry about us.
The end result is that I’ve been left feeling shaken and not sure that my “voice” has any merit. I’ve thought of so many things to say or to share and have second guessed myself (because of these incidents) multiple times.
I end up not saying anything and this little blog putters along with far fewer posts than it used to have.
It’s NOT that God isn’t still teaching and leading and changing us. It’s not that I don’t have stories or blessings or hardships to share.
It’s just that these things that happened made me feel that I shouldn’t share. That I didn’t have a platform (no matter how small) or that maybe I was completely wrong about everything I knew to be true.
I am coming to the point where I can see that is not true. God HAS allowed us to have a small way to share our story with others in order to encourage and teach. God HAS given me this little spot on the internet that has been here for quite some time.
God HAS given me a reason to share and I’m going to regardless of what has been said or done to us in past months. My initial response was to just be quiet and try to sort out my confusion.
But I finally feel that God hasn’t given me peace about being quiet. So, misunderstood I may be. Disliked perhaps? Ignored…ok that’s fine!
But for those of you who have followed along and prayed and encouraged and sent emails how God used something I shared with you to change your heart, well, I’m going to keep blogging.
I’m going to keep encouraging and sharing with people I know in real life.
I’m going to be the me that God has made me to be and our family is going to be the family God has made us. Our marriage is going to be the marriage God has blessed us with.
I know this is so much left unsaid, but I’m mostly checking in. Sharing what I can and asking you to pray for me for God to help me sort out what it is He desires for me to share. Then if I’m obeying Him, the chips can just fall where they may right?