That was the question I faced one night a couple weeks before school started.
This is my son’s first year officially schooling.
Of course we have done wonderful things all along the way. I just don’t count since birth. I consider working with him and teaching him when he wasn’t ready for formal schooling as just being a good mom.
Anyway, I asked for prayer in my small group study. I was feeling overwhelmed with the thought of adding homeschooling to everything I else I was doing.
I had no qualms in my ability to homeschool. I was just worried about adding it to everything else I have to do.
This is what I posted in a private forum with friends.
Ok, I AM so tired. I mean TIRED!
I was laying on the couch so tired the other day thinking “I hope I can do this”
Adding school to all of this. BUT I am honestly looking forward to it and I prayed specific prayers and BAM everything fell into place.
So I think it will help–but that means I have to pay employees and that is $$ and I don’t have enough $$ ? I am so trying not to worry about that.
I know that God has called me to this homeschooling–I am confident that it’s the right decision but…..
And there is SO MUCH to do at the store. I am trying to figure out how to get it all done, delegate, not pay out all my money to employees.
If I didn’t depend completely on it for income I could easily give them almost everything and let them do it–it’s just that I have to have a chunck of it to pay our bills too!
I so don’t mean to whine but it just really stinks to not be able to have my husband be a part of our lives.
I am so sad that our son is about to loose his 1st tooth, start school, learn to read, etc and dad is not here.
It’s not OUR fault and I’m so tired of dealing with this.
I am just so tired and I can’t see straight to figure out what I need to do.
They encouraged me and prayed for me while I laid in the dust too exhausted to think straight.
So even though I worried how I would do it all, the actual wanting to homeschool never wavered.
I read an article during all this exhaustion that encouraged me greatly. (Of course I can’t find it now.)
It said that just because you are a single mom or just because dad isn’t home, doesn’t mean your child is any less special than children from whole homes. It said that children from single parent homes deserve to be homeschooled just as much as other children and that perhaps they are in need of it even more.
I remember thinking “Yes! that’s right. My son needs this and I need this.”
That night in small group study when all eyes turned on me with incredulous looks in their eyes, I smiled at them and answered their “YOU!?” question with a
“Yes I am. My son deserves this and needs this just as much as any other child does.”
I think they didn’t quite know what to say, but pray for me they did.
I don’t single parent homeschool to get pats on the back or to act like I’m so perfect. I do this because of the following reasons:
1. God called us to homeschool.
2. My son is a very special little boy.
3. We planned to homeschool before we ever had children.
4. We desire to give our son a Biblically based education. One where he is free to learn about God and talk about him.
5. I want my son to be educated in an environment where he is loved and his learning style is considered.
6. I want him to receive an education that teaches him to love learning.
7. I want his education to be high quality.
8. He and I need this time to be together in a stress free environment.
Our lives have had so many stresses. So much sadness. So many questions.
Homeschooling has provided a much needed oasis of peace and joy in our days.
I am sure that in my heart there are more reasons for choosing to embark on this homeschool journey alone, but these are the “biggies”.
If I wanted easy, I’d have signed him up for school when I had doubts, but I don’t want easy I want God’s will for our lives. He doesn’t call us to easy, however, he equips those whom he calls.
Now that our first term is over and I’ve experienced the joy of watching my son flourish in this environment, I will look those who ask “YOU!?” in their confused eyes and say,
“Most definitely me.”
1 Thessalonians 5:24
Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.