I get assistance
by adustyframe ~ January 4th, 2007Yes, I do.
We have chosen to accept food stamps, state insurance, and energy assistance.
I know that there are various feelings on the issue.
I have found it to be a tremendous blessing. I can’t wait until I don’t need them!
When I chose to accept aid, we were a few months into this and I simply couldn’t pay for everything.
My son and I ate lots of pancakes and french toast. I was spending very little on groceries and I began to see that feeding his growing body on “bread alone” wasn’t going to produce a healthy son.
When I went to apply at first, I didn’t know what to expect.
Having a stranger comb through my private information was unnerving. They were polite and professional.
Of course every application includes an explanation of why I’m married and he’s not home.
I’m sure my cheeks burn when they ask.
I am still mortified to say “he’s in prison”.
The first time I went grocery shopping with food stamps, I almost laughed.
I put fruit and vegetables, healthy peanut butter, BROWN rice, wheat bread, fruit juices and other healthy items in my cart. I was so thankful to be able to feed my son good food finally.
Did you ever get food at a food bank? I never had before this point. It often includes fruit drinks, white rice, peanut butter with all the bad stuff in it, additives and fake color galore.
Now I know “they” should be thankful to have anything to eat and yes, I was thankful. I do think that people should be able to give their growing babies real and healthy food though.
I am able to shop wisely and have bargains stocked up on my shelves and in my freezer. I am even able to share with others.
Today, I applied for heating assistance again.
The lady was very kind but she looked across her desk quizzically at me. I was required to fill out a “Low or No Income explanation”.
She said,
“How do you pay your bills?”
I mulled my answer over.
“God pays my bills” is the correct answer. There is no earthly explanation for the fact that my bills are paid.
Most months, I have to pray every penny in and I am tested to see how much I trust God. But we have been in this situation for 26 months and we are not behind on one bill.
I often say “We are not ahead. There is nothing in the bank. But we are not behind.”
That is a testimony to the goodness of God.
I thought that if I leaned over the desk and told her God pays my bills, I may have received a free ride to the psych ward!
I told her I am current on everything.
That is the truth.
I thought about it on the way home. There is no other explanation than that God pays our bills.
Humanly speaking, the amount of money I make does not cover the bills.
I have scrimped in every way I can. I am a smart shopper. We do without things that we can do without. I pray and trust and God takes care of us.
I have mentioned before that I own a store. I do.
We never intended it to be our sole income so soon. If you know the business rule of thumb is 5 years before a business turns a penny of profit.
My store has turned a profit every year and each year it grows. It’s just not a huge amount.
Several months ago, I was in a conversation with someone who told me how broke they were. I smiled at her and said, “Broke!?”
She explained how broke they were and how little they made. I told her how little I made. (Here’s a little hint. Some people say they’d like to make triple digits. I’d be delighted to make double digits.)
She said, “You win.”
I wasn’t trying to win actually. I was trying to explain how much God provides and blesses when we trust.
The fact that we don’t have extra money doesn’t mean my store isn’t thriving. It is! It’s just fairly new.
Last year, the prevailing opinion at church was that I should sell the store and get a job.
I prayed about it and chose not to. I still pray about it. I’d love to not have to run a store. I’d love to stay at home every day.
For now though, I have no peace about selling the store.
If I were to go get a job (as though I don’t have several now!), I wouldn’t be able to homeschool my son. I wouldn’t make very much more money. I would be more tired.
I see no benefits to doing this. We’d still be on assistance and my son would have less of me. My ability to be any sort of keeper at home would be severely limited.
So we plug along and trust and pray. We document God’s provision.
I still wonder why I struggle so often with choosing to trust all the time. I have seen God provide in miraculous ways for us.
So many lessons. So many blessings. So many food stamps.
Yes, I use assistance.
January 4th, 2007 at 7:57 pm
in all your ways acknowledge him …
January 4th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
“assisstance”
hummm . . .
it’s when we do not realize everything we have and are is from God that we are truly messed up. without God and His continuous provision … assistance … we are nothing and have nothing.
our wealth comes all from Him.
you are very wealthy
January 4th, 2007 at 9:02 pm
Isn’t it amazing how we can waver in our trust when all we have to do is look back over our lives and see how God has provided for us time and time again. God Bless you continually!
January 5th, 2007 at 4:07 am
What an inspiration! I remember when I was unemployed soon after adopting my kids I had to accept Food Stamps and other assistance from Church.I drove to a store I’d never been to hoping no one I knew would see me. Like you, I bought healthy food. They lady at the register was stunned when I pulled out a state debit card [i.e. food stamps] to pay. Her comments reflected the prevailing wisdom–food stamp families only eat crap. However, when I went back the next time she called the manager and he gave me several packages of marked down meat and fruit! Good choices are seen by God and rewards, I believe. While I am not yet at peace with doing what you and another single mom homeschool blogger are doing, I am inspired! Thank you so much for your living a life of true faith.
January 5th, 2007 at 4:55 am
Thank you for sharing this. You are a blessing.
January 5th, 2007 at 5:00 am
About the unhealthy foods available at the food bank–I think Americans as a whole gravitate towards the more processed convenience foods, so I wonder if the food bank selections are a reflection of demand. We’ve been working towards eating healthier “whole” foods, and I’m learning first-hand how tempting it is to buy rice that cooks in 5 minutes rather than waiting 45 minutes for brown rice. We’ve started making our peanut butter, and I tell you there are days when I would love to just be able to open up a jar and hand it to the kids. It’s a hard battle to fight.
Thanks for sharing your struggles and your lessons with us. In my opinion you are giving more on this blog than you are taking from assistance.
January 5th, 2007 at 5:16 am
(((((Hugs))))) Your words – your life – dear friend, are a powerful testimony to God’s care for His people. I am very grateful that those with him you had to share such personal financial details with were “polite and professional”. My mother had applied for assistance when my dad was temporarily in a nursing home. When dad died 3 months later and mother was unable to do so, I had to deal with very rude and very unprofessional staff. One day I will never forget was the day after dad died and Emily, who was 8 at the time, had spilled a drink on the floor of the waiting room of the medicaid office. The staff proceeded to chew me out for allowing her to bring a drink into the building – I simply did not see the “No food or drinks allowed” sign on the door. They gave me a roll of paper towels and while a waiting room of people watched, I got down on my hands and knees, and attempted to clean up the spill through the tears that flowed in abundance. You, dearest, have had more than your share of encounters with unkind prison staff.
Your comments about food bank food is very enlightening. We really should be providing the most nutritious food possible to those whose resources are the lowest.
You and your precious family are always in my prayers.
January 5th, 2007 at 5:39 am
You minister to me in such a way that I cannot describe. That I could have half your faith! What wares does your store sell?
January 5th, 2007 at 6:00 am
Thanks ladies. Actually I was a bit nervous to post this but I wanted to share how God provides for us.
Patricia, I’m sorry you and your mom received such poor treatment. I was worried about that. So far no one has been unkind to me.
I do however definitely see a difference in treatment. There is a feeling and presumption that you are a lower level just by their rules, signs, etc.
One time I took my son and they had a fit and told me I had to put him in their daycare.
I told them no one told me he couldn’t come along or I’d have left him at Grandma’s. I told them I do NOT leave my child with strangers. So they let him sit in the appointment.
Jodi, I’m sure you’re correct about the food bank items. It’s just what “we” eat.
Lisa, that is such a blessing that the store helped you.
I STILL feel like I hope that no one that I know sees me!
January 5th, 2007 at 6:45 am
REading this really blessed me alot ALOT to think about…we just finished the CROWN study on $$ and of course there is much I want to wrestle with but in the end you spoke to alot of my stuff…You are a blessing please keep writing your journey becky
January 5th, 2007 at 7:13 am
Thank you for sharing your stories of God’s provision. You sound like you are being such a good steward of what He is giving you. What a good example you are setting to your son.
You have been in my prayers.
On a side note…I have no idea what your store is, but I was wondering does is it have a website that could be ordered from?
January 5th, 2007 at 7:31 am
I’ve been there, in the food stamp line, with my dad, in the grocery line with my mom. I felt the humiliation of buying school lunch with “the card.” It was humiliating enough that when I lost my card, I could not bring myself to get a replacement from “the table” where everyone would see me….so I stopped eating and became border-line anorexic for years. Pride! It can destroy you!
As I look back, I marvel at where I am now. So far from Food Stamps, able to be the one to provide assistance to others in need. God continues to reveal Himself to me in real and practical ways and I am blessed beyond measure to be a vessel of His provision to others. The faith that I learned as a child, trusting Him for our next meal, or clothing…has remained with me and continues to grow. And He has given me a heart for those who are in need because I’ve been there.
God is so good!
Thank you for your continued vulnerability! Thank you for continuing to challenge us!
And next time, seize the opportunity to tell “them” that God pays your bills! You do not know how much they need to hear the Truth!
January 5th, 2007 at 9:45 am
You are such a treasure, you bless my heart. Thanks for being you.
January 5th, 2007 at 11:00 am
You dear sister have been a major blessing to me today. I came here by way of Healed Waters and let me say that I know what you mean by God’s provision. I understand what it’s like to have a loved one in prison. It wasn’t my husband (only by the grace of God) but we visited this person several times a year. Prison guards can be fickle people. I digress…
Did I mention that when we started out (my hubby and I) that we were in the projects and on food stamps? Due to God’s grace and faithfulness, we now own our own home. It’s not big (690 sq. feet to be exact) but it’s ours. I too, remember that first shopping trip with food stamps. We have not been able to eat as well as we did since those days.
Anyway, I’m sorry to write a tome in your comments section…I just understand. God be with you, your man of God, and your child.
BTW…as an alternative to the food bank, have you tried Angel Food Ministries? Our church has just partnered with this ministry. There are no income limitations, and you get quality food. For $25.00 you get like $100.00 worth of food. It includes meat and fresh vegetables, etc…
Just wondering if you’d heard of it. I can’t remember the web addy, but you can Google Angel Food Ministries and it’ll pop up. I’ll be praying for you.
January 5th, 2007 at 11:43 am
I suppose our equivalent over here are free milk tokens and free school dinners. There are a lot of benefits available, although I know our system is very different to yours. Every parent gets ‘child benefit’. The only other thing I am entitled t is some child tax credit……………(.but there seem to be lots of people over here who stay on their benefits because they are better off like than than having a low paid job). That was merely an observation, not in anyway a dig at anyone.
If the state provides benefits and an individual needs them for a time in their life then why do people feel they have the right to look down on them. people can be poor for any number of reasons. I have to stop and remind myself that I am not ‘broke’ as your friend put it. I do not have as much as I used to, but I have enough.
Thank you for sharing the faithful way in which the Lord has provided for you. I trust and pray that this continues and that all your needs are met.
January 5th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Wow. I surfed over from my cyber-friend, Kari W. I can’t wait to spend more time reading your blog tonight after the kiddos are in bed.
You take that assistance! Yes, ma’am! I’m glad you do. It’s a shame that the Christian community doesn’t live quite like they did in Acts — sharing all they had with all who needed — but since it doesn’t, I’m thankful that the government (which is on His shoulders) is prepared to administrate the help. God. bless. you!
And you’re so right about the quality of food…it’s expensive to eat well. Beans and rice are the only really inexpensive quality food I can think of right off the bat.
There is another woman I want you to meet…
http://phxflurry.blogspot.com/
You two may share a kinship of sorts; she, too, raises her children alone as her husband is in prison.
January 5th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
I found you via Kari of Healed Waters.
What a blessing you are to those who read your blog. Thank you for sharing all that He is doing in your life.
A lot of what ends up at food banks is what is discontinued, out of date, on clearance, and just plain cheapest. A lot of stores donate their out of date thiings to food banks so they can use it as a tax deduction. Those who buy items to donate usually buy the ery cheapest items to make the money they have go further. When we donate to our food bank we buy from the very cheapest store so that the money will go as far as possible. Obviously that means that the items will not be organic or the healthiest. Reading this, it occurs to me that the thing to do to make it stretch is to buy the one dollar clearance items up at the local health food store and donate those. The other thing which we do do is buy cheap healthy foods that will go a long way like dried beans and cereals but a lot of time people are less willing to take those items because they are more work to make.
Wow, that was a lot longer than it needed to be.
If you are trying to go the healthy route, despite the food stamps have you looked into local coops? My kids have a ton of food allergies and with our single income family (my husband works and doesn’t make as much as a lead programmer should due to lack of education) we have a hard time affording the foods they need to eat. I found that we have a place that sells wholesale groceries, like 25 # bags of organic oat meal for the price that you wold pay for a 5# package of instant. I also managed to save and get a food mill which I used to gring my own flour and thus save a lot more (with chickpea flour being 3.60 a 3 # bag compared to $8 for a 25 # bag of dried chickpeas.) It made a huge difference. You could check into it. There might be something around you that is similar (and ours does take food stamps).
January 5th, 2007 at 5:53 pm
Lizzie, thank you for your honesty. I can relate to everything you said. You have a wonderful website and I’m sure I’ll be visiting a lot.
January 6th, 2007 at 7:01 am
Wonderful post. Thank you for your transparency. I understand about counting the pennies, but you certainly “win” in this area. It is amazing to see how God will pick up the pieces and make something wonderful with our lives. I’d love to talk with you via email “off-blog” about this because I have a similar story to relate to you about a relative of mine who is in prison. To respect their privacy, I do not post about it online.
January 6th, 2007 at 9:14 am
WOW! I am SO THERE with you! I totally understand.
When Ray was arrested, it seemd the humiliation would never end as I had to go to office after office and beg for assistance. Telling them over and over why my family was in this position was awful and I cried alot. Some workers were nice, some treated me like garbage.
Trying to find a job was another humbling experience as I was turned down over and over. SO many rejection letters. SO many phone calls not returned. Having to account for everything I did so I could jump through the proper hoops and recieve financial aid.
I am SO JAZZED for you that you are able to make it and still keep your store. God has done just the same for us…providing just what we need. I even had a DHS worker make me provide documentation of how I was paying my bills because my income wasn’t big enough to cover everything. She thought I was selling drugs or prostituting!
So I got to list out our church, other churches, friends, and family who have helped us financially throught this ordeal. And show her that GOD gets all the glory! It was actually quite FUN!
I have a job now, by the grace of God. But I only bring home HALF of what the state pays OUT to provide daycare for my four children. That’s not including food stamps or housing or state health care. It seems wrong to me. I went to my worker and begged him to pay ME what they pay the babysitters and just let me stay home with my kids!! He flatly told me “the system doesn’t work that way”.
I have confidence that God will work it out soon as I keep laying my heart at His feet.
I’ll keep you in my prayers too. God is SO good all the time!
THank you SO Much for sharing. It feels good to know that you aren’t alone.
January 6th, 2007 at 11:56 am
Hi, I came because someone told me that grafted branch linked to my blog here. I read what you wrote here, and I know just what you mean. I’ve been there too when God paid my bills. What an awesome testimony you have. I’ll be visiting again for sure!
January 6th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
You said, “Now I know “they” should be thankful to have anything to eat and yes, I was thankful. I do think that people should be able to give their growing babies real and healthy food though.”
You are absolutely correct, people should be able to give the best food for their children. Unfortunately, many people think of those who struggle as “they.” And the accusations & assumptions people make concerning “they,” is to their own shame, detriment & loss of blessing.
Please know that, not everyone thinks of those in need as “they.”
As Susan said, “If the state provides benefits and an individual needs them for a time in their life then why do people feel they have the right to look down on them. people can be poor for any number of reasons. I have to stop and remind myself that I am not ‘broke’ as your friend put it. I do not have as much as I used to, but I have enough.” I have enough, and often, more than enough — these are only the blessings of God.
I suppose they use their pride & arrogance, & their own lack of trust in God, to excuse away their lack of compassion & their long-nosed looks.
January 6th, 2007 at 8:31 pm
Thanks again ladies.
I was a bit nervous to share this.
I have heard/read so many discussions about how poor people are lazy and just as many that Christians shouldn’t take gov. help.
So I wasn’t sure what the reaction would be. Of course, that doesn’t change any of my decisions.
God has been so good to us. I see it more and more as I post away.
He loves us so much!
Thanks for all your tips, ideas, links.
I appreciate them very much.
January 7th, 2007 at 6:33 am
Thank you for your posting. I found you off of maggieraye’s blog. So many times I have heard Christians look down on people who use public assistance. Like we are not trusting God or something. It is nice to hear that I am not the only one. Right now, while I am going to school to become a midwife I am living off of my child support. People don’t understand why I can’t have a job to supplement my income. When you are on call to deliver babies, you can’t just leave work to go do it. I pray that eventually I will make enough money to pay all my bills and buy food. Until then God provides for me and yes He does use the state for that occasionally.
January 7th, 2007 at 10:28 am
Hey Friend,
Ya, I’ve written about this myself (I think – after some 300 posts, you loose track after awhile.)
We’ve been in and out of the system. The Lord pays our bills both when we’re in and when we’re out. It’s the only possible explaination there is.
I vasillate between laughter and anger when I hear people talk about being “broke” myself. I think, ‘honey, you have no idea what broke is.” Right now we’re doing well. I don’t even feel poor most days — and yet, I know that other’s think we are. I too would like to earn into the double digits – I did, before I gave up my career to be a keeper at home.
I believe that God richly blesses that choice we make, for Him!
I’ve experienced both the professional politeness and the rudeness over the years. I just have to remind myself they are humans and most probably don’t know Christ, for if they did, surely they would treat us differently.
Hang in there! Keep on keepin on for the Lord!
Blessings, MaggieRaye
January 7th, 2007 at 11:56 am
EXCELLENT post. Journaling about your blessings from above… documenting them for future generations. Praising and thanking God above!
Thank you for sharing!!
January 8th, 2007 at 7:04 pm
[...] Frame. Lizzie tells the truth in such a humble way. I highly recommend Lizzie’s article, I get assistance. It will help with understanding some of us single [...]
August 11th, 2007 at 9:37 am
Thank you for your kind words on my blog! For your encouragement! I completely shared your feelings when you first filled up your cart with healthful produce! We had been eating hamburger helper and frozen pizza! It felt so good to be able to provide healthy food for my family.
September 7th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
[...] Long ago I wrote a post on getting assistance. [...]