by adustyframe ~ June 25th, 2007

Today, I had to call an investigator to ask for their report.

We’re trying to get some ducks in a row and I have some papers to gather.

I wrote about this investigation here.

Calling today was not easy for me. I feel like I don’t want them thinking about us again or wondering what we’re up to.

I want to stay far away from them and them from me!

But we really need this report that states that nothing was wrong.

The man was very polite. He remembered a lot of our details before he even pulled up the report on the computer.

It unnerved me that he remembered what street we lived on.

UGGG! I don’t want them thinking about us!

He promised to mail the report out. He said I was certainly entitled to it.

I spent the afternoon watching James play in the pool. I had to fight the fear in my heart.

I relived some of the moments of the investigation. It was unpleasant because it was such a horrible time.

I quoted over and over,

“What time I am afraid I will trust in Thee.”

“Trust ye in the Lord Jehovah for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength.”

Logically, asking for a report that clears Lee and I  should not have stirred up any fear in my heart.

But the devil was there to whisper what ifs to my heart. What if they decide to investigate again? What if they decide they don’t like that I’m homeschooling, or any other decisions I’ve made.

What if?

What if I believe that God is bigger than anything I face? What if  I choose to trust and rest and just know that this man is only sending me a report that I am entitled to?

I am so thankful for the power of God’s word and the comfort it brings.

“What time I am afraid I will trust in Thee.” Psalm 56:3 


11 Thoughts Shared to Fear

  1. Jon Daley

    No “what if” thinking is allowed. It is not helpful in any instance. I do far too much of it myself, so I know.

    For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

    Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God;

    Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began,

    2 Timothy 7-9

  2. Chel

    The industry I work in requires me to handle a couple of hundred cases at a time, and I’m astounded sometimes at the odd details I recall. It might not be that unusual that this gentleman remembered your street address.

    AND, at least for me, I remember the people with the best and the worst attitudes. I’m guessing from what I’ve seen here that you don’t fall into the latter category, so you might want to take it as a compliment that he remembered you. Maybe he recalled that you were supportive of your husband and dedicated to your family. Good things!

  3. picklesncucumbers

    What-if’s are my down fall. They paralyze me. So hard to pull myself out of that mode of thinking. But then I have to remember to hand it over to God and put my faith in Him.

  4. picklesncucumbers

    Hmmm, does “getting your ducks in a row” mean that James might be able to visit Lee soon??? Oh please, please, please! I realy hope that might be true. I’ll be praying for it.

  5. adustyframe

    Jon thank you for the reminder that what ifs aren’t allowed! And for the excellent Scriptures.

    Chel–ok! thank you for telling me that.

    Jenn–Getting our ducks in a row definitely means that. Please keep praying. We’re facing some obstacles and we’re trying to not be discouraged.

  6. Amy

    “Logically, asking for a report that clears Lee and I should not have stirred up any fear in my heart.”

    I know what you mean. Like you aren’t supposed to be afraid of police officers because they’re there to protect you, but you still worry that you’ll do something wrong and get a ticket when one is driving behind you. I wish phrases like “Child Protection Services” were comforting instead of driving fear into parents’ hearts. I’m praying things go smoothly for you, Lizzie and that James can see his father soon.

  7. Ame

    you know … unfounded accusations like that, i would imagine, would have a very negative reflection on the one who brought them … perhaps there’s more to “the story” than you will ever know … which would cause him to remember more than you wish … perhaps it has nothing to do with you except that you are above reproach and this person obviously was not.

    still, i understand. i had thought i wanted my files from my 2 1/2 years of counseling. when i contacted my counselor he, of course, said i can have them. but he said i should think about opening all that back up … that it would be moving backward and not forward. not long after that i came across something i wrote back then and realized how much truth there was in that. it is SO hard to go back to “those” places … they are dark and so painful. there are times we need to and must. you’re doing great, girl, you really are!

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  9. Briggie

    Lord, I come to you on behalf of this couple and stand against the spirit of fear that the enemy has tried to blanket over their home and their lives. My prayer for them is for a blanket of Your peace, a peace that surpasses all our natural minds understanding. Your Word says that You go before us in all battles, You told us that You would never leave us nor forsake us and that You hear the voices of Your children. This family cries out to you from their desert, place an army of Your angels around them to protect them from all attacks of the enemy. Place a crown of peace upon their heads to guard their minds from wandering from You and Your promises. Let the glory be Yours Lord and let Your praises roll off their tongues, cause their feet to dance and their hearts to rejoice for You and You alone shall give them victory over the enemy. Whom shall we fear, for You O Lord are with us always…

    In Him,

  10. adustyframe

    Briggie, thank you so much for your prayers.

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