Every day
by adustyframe ~ July 13th, 2007Every day we face this trial.
Every morning, we wake up to no Dad.
Every night, we go to bed with no Dad.
It never goes away, it never gets better.
There is no moving on. It’s slightly like spinning our wheels. We’re stuck here in this trial.
God has given us much grace. He has provided much strength.
He continues to teach us and enable us to live the life he has given us.
It’s just that every day it’s the same trial we’re enduring.
Today, a random thought ran through my head.
“It’s Friday. I wonder if Lee wants to go out to eat tonight.”
As though life was normal. At the realization that there won’t be any going out to eat with Lee tonight, the pain was real.
No, it doesn’t send me to bed. It doesn’t bring tears–well not always. Sometimes it does!
I just had to remember once again that he is not home.
Yesterday, I watched James playing in the pool. He’s happy. He’s doing alright.
But every day he doesn’t have a Daddy around.
Every milestone, every accomplishment, every joke, every silly thing he says, there is no Daddy to share it.
Sometimes it feels like there is a hole blasted through our family. It’s a gaping wound and it’s there every day.
Even on the days when life is really really good. Even on the days when we’re happy and smiling. Even on the days when you’d look at us and never know.
Every day, we deal with this.
Every night James prays, “Please help my Daddy come home.”
Every night, I hug him a little harder and pray silently, “God please help this little boy. Help us.”
Every day we need God to carry us through. Every day we have to take a deep breath and move through our tasks. Every day we have to live a life without our favorite Daddy.
Deuteronomy 33:25 as thy days, so shall thy strength be.
July 13th, 2007 at 9:23 pm
Sometimes the pain just gets to you. I feel for you, my friend.
You are in my prayers.
Are you on the downhill stretch yet? Soon?
July 14th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} Lizzie. I can’t imagine how hard it is for you just to get through another day. I’m praying for God’s grace to see you through to the end, when the gaping hole will be closed and your family will be complete again.
July 14th, 2007 at 8:30 pm
This post made tears spring to my eyes. I feel for you and James. I cannot imagine how it must be for him. I pray for you all often. And I pray that the days ’til Lee gets to come home go quickly for you all! ((((HUGS))))
July 14th, 2007 at 10:13 pm
yes.
please consider posting this on The Covering.
July 14th, 2007 at 10:34 pm
I’m still praying
July 15th, 2007 at 7:30 am
Lizzie,
Is there any light at the end of this tunnel? Do you have any idea how much more time he will be away? James DOES have a daddy, he’s just not with him physically right now. I believe from all your writings that your husband desires to be a man of God and he is a good daddy to James and it will only get better when he returns to the two of you. I am not trying to negate your feelings here. I have no idea how difficult it must be for you. I guess I am just trying to look at it from a little different perspective and hopefully be a bit encouraging to you. Praying for you this Sunday morning as I am home from church with a sick child.
July 15th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
Thank you all for your encouragement.
Robin, thanks. It’s not all bad. It’s just that we never wake up and find that dad is home.
There’s sort of light at the end of the tunnel, but we’re not sure how everything is going to play out.
We’re praying for some huge works of God:)!