Missing him

by adustyframe ~ August 27th, 2007

It’s hard to say exactly what will trigger tears or an ache in the heart.

For me a big one is seeing couples holding hands, or a husband slipping into the pew beside his wife at church.

It’s not in any way, jealousy over YOUR husband being home. It’s not that I don’t want you to hold hands in front of me.

It just hurts. I miss Lee.

Saturday, I saw one of my new friends at a craft store. We chatted a bit about our week. I introduced her to James who was impatiently hopping around the shopping cart.

She said she was going to stop by to visit my store after she went to the farmer’s market but it was too early.

She said the farmer’s market was too depressing. I didn’t realize what she meant at first.

Then a tear trickled down her cheek.

“I just miss him.” she whispered, “We used to do things like that together.”

Then I knew exactly what she meant.

We used to poke around antique stores on Sunday afternoons. I still go sometimes, but every time I miss having him there.

I miss having him next to me when James is singing at church. I miss him when family comes over for a cook out. I miss him when I have to carry all the groceries in. I miss him slipping his arm around me and sharing his Bible with me during a sermon.
I know that someday he will be home. Someday he will sit with me in church. Someday he will hear James sing. Someday I will hold his hand and walk down the street next to my husband.

I absolutely know that I am blessed that Lee is still alive and still loves us and wants to be with us. I know even when I miss him that we are blessed.

It still hurts.

I still miss him.


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