Comments on: What not to say http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/ I blog about what God is teaching us while my husband is in prison. Tue, 22 May 2012 12:59:24 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Hopeful Spirit http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2234 Hopeful Spirit Mon, 24 Sep 2007 03:02:45 +0000 http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2234 Lizzie, I just realized that I called you "Lee" in my prior comment. Sorry! (I'm tired.) This is an honest, refreshing post. People are naturally curious and it causes their mouths and brains to get out of sync. You have presented your responses with grace and elegance. No need to apologize. Your post is a great service to many folks. I gave you a Stumble. :-) <strong>That's ok;) Thank you.</strong> Lizzie, I just realized that I called you “Lee” in my prior comment. Sorry! (I’m tired.)

This is an honest, refreshing post.

People are naturally curious and it causes their mouths and brains to get out of sync. You have presented your responses with grace and elegance. No need to apologize.

Your post is a great service to many folks. I gave you a Stumble. :-)

That’s ok;) Thank you.

]]> By: Brenda@Coffee Tea Books and Me http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2232 Brenda@Coffee Tea Books and Me Mon, 24 Sep 2007 02:16:43 +0000 http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2232 People have asked me if we did something to bring a curse on us. Sheesh... I agree with your mom. I have told people that when one is in the midst of an unimaginable trial, you have to remind yourself to breath! <strong>Someone asked you if you did something to bring on a curse? OH GOODNESS! Sometimes people need to shut their mouths! Good grief! I'm sorry someone said that to you:(</strong> People have asked me if we did something to bring a curse on us. Sheesh…

I agree with your mom. I have told people that when one is in the midst of an unimaginable trial, you have to remind yourself to breath!

Someone asked you if you did something to bring on a curse? OH GOODNESS! Sometimes people need to shut their mouths! Good grief!
I’m sorry someone said that to you:(

]]> By: deputyheadmistress http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2225 deputyheadmistress Sun, 23 Sep 2007 07:06:45 +0000 http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2225 Great post! You were quite kind. And let me confess that I am often curious about things that are absolutely none of my business. I just try to squelch any inclination to actually ASK about those things. We, as a society, somehow crossed a line from 'it's normal to be curious' (it is) to 'everybody is obligated to satisfy our curiosity.' It's hard to be grown ups sometimes.=) Oh! Thank you for stopping by and saying that. I was trying to be like you:). <strong>I'm curious about things too! However, my Mother taught us how to speak and behave with others and that some things really are none of our business and are quite rude to ask. I wish others had a mom like mine!</strong> Great post! You were quite kind.

And let me confess that I am often curious about things that are absolutely none of my business. I just try to squelch any inclination to actually ASK about those things. We, as a society, somehow crossed a line from ‘it’s normal to be curious’ (it is) to ‘everybody is obligated to satisfy our curiosity.’
It’s hard to be grown ups sometimes.=)

Oh! Thank you for stopping by and saying that. I was trying to be like you:).

I’m curious about things too! However, my Mother taught us how to speak and behave with others and that some things really are none of our business and are quite rude to ask. I wish others had a mom like mine!

]]> By: Jacci M http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2222 Jacci M Sun, 23 Sep 2007 02:24:45 +0000 http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2222 Thank you for commenting on my blog :) I came by to read a little of yours and I think I found the right post to give me that little window into Lizzy. It takes no small amount of tact to communicate something like that and do it so graciously. You didn't sound snippy at all, honey. You sound like someone I'd like to know :) BTW, I don't let my kids watch Care Bears, either ;) <strong>Thanks, Jacci! Thanks for letting me know you don't watch Care Bears either;) Thanks for your kind comments.</strong> Thank you for commenting on my blog :) I came by to read a little of yours and I think I found the right post to give me that little window into Lizzy. It takes no small amount of tact to communicate something like that and do it so graciously. You didn’t sound snippy at all, honey. You sound like someone I’d like to know :)

BTW, I don’t let my kids watch Care Bears, either ;)

Thanks, Jacci! Thanks for letting me know you don’t watch Care Bears either;) Thanks for your kind comments.

]]> By: Revka http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2205 Revka Fri, 21 Sep 2007 12:38:43 +0000 http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2205 Great post, Lizzie. I have dealt with the insensitive comments after I miscarried our first child, and, frankly, I wanted to wallop some of the people! This is a much nicer and very helpful approach. Five is the only one I might possibly say or think. I like how you provided a better option for us. :) Still praying...<strong> Thank you:)</strong> Great post, Lizzie. I have dealt with the insensitive comments after I miscarried our first child, and, frankly, I wanted to wallop some of the people! This is a much nicer and very helpful approach.

Five is the only one I might possibly say or think. I like how you provided a better option for us. :)

Still praying…

Thank you:)

]]> By: Jenn http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2201 Jenn Fri, 21 Sep 2007 00:56:18 +0000 http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2201 I agree with Kari's point. I think that all the reality TV shows and such have made society feel like they have the right to know every intimate detail of everyone's lives. There is no privacy any more, it seems. Very tactfully put. Not taken as whining at all. I agree with Kari’s point. I think that all the reality TV shows and such have made society feel like they have the right to know every intimate detail of everyone’s lives. There is no privacy any more, it seems.

Very tactfully put. Not taken as whining at all.

]]> By: GIGI http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2200 GIGI Fri, 21 Sep 2007 00:08:21 +0000 http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2200 First off....AMEN!!!!!! Now, about people asking," what did he do", I used to just tell the person that I really didn't want to get into it. Now, I tell them while I'm looking them straight in the eye, and watch the curiosity fade right to "maybe this wasn't any of my business". It's like....in your face nosey person. Now you can mull it over in your mind or with someone in a gossip session and come to your own conclusions or whatever you wanted to do with the information in the first place. Why does someone need to know anyway???? I'm really not angry, I'm tired. I too am a prison widow, and those who have not been there simply do not have a clue. We will survive!!! And love conquers all. <strong>((Hugs))</strong> First off….AMEN!!!!!! Now, about people asking,” what did he do”, I used to just tell the person that I really didn’t want to get into it. Now, I tell them while I’m looking them straight in the eye, and watch the curiosity fade right to “maybe this wasn’t any of my business”. It’s like….in your face nosey person. Now you can mull it over in your mind or with someone in a gossip session and come to your own conclusions or whatever you wanted to do with the information in the first place. Why does someone need to know anyway???? I’m really not angry, I’m tired. I too am a prison widow, and those who have not been there simply do not have a clue. We will survive!!!
And love conquers all.

((Hugs))

]]> By: Chel http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2199 Chel Thu, 20 Sep 2007 23:12:34 +0000 http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2199 I knew there was something else I wanted to say! :) First, sorry about the crazy italics. I shouldn't try fancy stuff like that. And... I think it's incredibly foolish for any of us to compare our suffering. What is easy for you might be unbearable for me and vice versa. The suffering and trials and learning and all of that is very personal and individual to each of us. God could hardly teach each of us out there the same lesson in the same way because He made each of us unique. <strong>I agree. I get tired of people trying to prove to me that what they're dealing with is so much worse. Ok whatever. Want to trade places?</strong> I knew there was something else I wanted to say! :) First, sorry about the crazy italics. I shouldn’t try fancy stuff like that.

And… I think it’s incredibly foolish for any of us to compare our suffering. What is easy for you might be unbearable for me and vice versa. The suffering and trials and learning and all of that is very personal and individual to each of us. God could hardly teach each of us out there the same lesson in the same way because He made each of us unique.

I agree. I get tired of people trying to prove to me that what they’re dealing with is so much worse. Ok whatever. Want to trade places?

]]> By: Chel http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2198 Chel Thu, 20 Sep 2007 23:08:22 +0000 http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2198 I am continually amazed at the things people will say to one another. From my perspective, the trials I've endured were made lighter and more bearable by those who came and were quiet and content with me <i>where I was</a> at the time rather than by those who pointed out all of the ways in which I could improve the situation. The greatest compassion is rarely wrapped in simplistic answers. <strong>Chel, I am blessed to have some friends that way. They are a real blessing.</strong> I am continually amazed at the things people will say to one another. From my perspective, the trials I’ve endured were made lighter and more bearable by those who came and were quiet and content with me where I was at the time rather than by those who pointed out all of the ways in which I could improve the situation. The greatest compassion is rarely wrapped in simplistic answers.

Chel, I am blessed to have some friends that way. They are a real blessing.

]]> By: Joy http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2197 Joy Thu, 20 Sep 2007 18:56:33 +0000 http://adustyframe.com/2007/09/19/what-not-to-say/#comment-2197 This was a great post. It was a good reminder to control the tongue. Your right, half the stuff people ask about it none of their business! Makes me look at myself and wonder if I have been the one asking things that aren't any of my business???!!!! By the way...about the pumpkin you knitted...very nice!!! does that get me out of the dog house??? =) <strong> Thanks, Joy. About the pumpkin, now I think you're just saying that. I'll have to think about it;)</strong> This was a great post. It was a good reminder to control the tongue. Your right, half the stuff people ask about it none of their business! Makes me look at myself and wonder if I have been the one asking things that aren’t any of my business???!!!! By the way…about the pumpkin you knitted…very nice!!! does that get me out of the dog house??? =)

Thanks, Joy. About the pumpkin, now I think you’re just saying that. I’ll have to think about it;)

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