Today was just quite a day. I was trying to think how to explain it. I can’t quite think of which word should describe it.
It was a day of multiple highs and lows. Isn’t it amazing how a day can be a “good day” and yet be full of discouragement?

I’ll just start at the beginning.

My friend called and offered to take James to a homeschooling art class today. I was able to catch up on some housework and have time to read my Bible and pray in a quiet house. That is such a rare occurrence that I jumped on the opportunity.
I spent real time asking God to show me some things I need to know, confessing sin, praising him for who he is. It was a blessed time and I was so thankful to be able to spend time in the presence of my Lord this morning.
I went to pick up James and we had lunch. It seemed that everywhere I looked there were couples. Older couples, young couples. Every couple sighting hurt today.
Funny how that hits me sometimes. Then the discouragement set in.
I asked the Lord to help me and I thanked him for my blessings. The afternoon was rough one spiritually.
I asked the Lord to protect my heart and mind. It’s amazes me how the devil wants to slither around and discourage my heart–especially right after a wonderful time with the Lord.
Money issues are definitely pulling on me. I am having to trust the Lord in huge ways and I don’t see anything changing and I don’t have answers on what I’m supposed to do!
The bills are mounting. Today I received 3 reminders of late bills, past due balances, “where’s the money?” letters.
I reminded God how during this entire trial, I’ve never been behind on my bills and I really wonder what his plan is here.
I am communicating with someone that is interested in purchasing the store. I am hoping that the process of sharing the financial information about the store, won’t put me in the place of having my store criticized or made to look worthless. That weighed on me today too.
I was just so tired. Physically tired, spiritually tired, and plain weary. This trial has been so long and is not over.

I am tired.

James and I had to run to Walmart. There were a couple of very small things that I needed. Spending the money to get them was difficult. (I am NOT asking you for anything. I am often very careful not to share this part of the struggle with you. I don’t ever want you to think I’m whining, begging, or mooching.) It’s just the way it is today.
James wanted to look at the fishing things. I felt saddened that I don’t know how to take him fishing. I don’t know how to do all the man things that James needs. My heart was so sore watching him happily check out the fishing equipment. I thought about the man at church that had promised to take James fishing. This promise was made last winter. No fishing has happened yet.

“Lord, why can’t people see? Why can’t people just not make promises or offers they aren’t going to keep? Please help me mother this little boy that so desperately needs his Daddy.”

We went on with our trek around the store. Little Boy cheerfully checking things out and chattering away. Mom praying for God to keep her mind focused and stayed on him.
We were almost ready to check out as we turned into the last aisle.
We saw a family from church. The man that promised to take James fishing.
“Hey,” he said, “I was just going to call you. We’re going fishing in the morning and I promised to take James.”
I don’t know if they could see the delight in my eyes. Maybe not, but WOW!

Thank you, Lord!

So, we made plans for little boy to be up very early tomorrow and went on our way.

When we got home, the phone rang and it was Lee.

His mom and dad had been to see him today and that encouraged him greatly. My father in law gave me the car this time last year. You know THE CAR, the one with all the problems! The deal was that I’d pay him as I was able. I have paid him about 1/2 of what he asked for. I have often told him that I count the car as a huge blessing. I just wonder why God provided it as a specific answer to prayer and it’s been such a problem.

After the fuel pump problem last week, Lee and I talked about what should we do. I told Lee that someone had told me perhaps I should tell my father in law that I don’t owe him any more money. We both agreed that we wouldn’t ask Lee’s dad to do that, but we could pray!

Today, while they were talking, Lee’s father said, “She doesn’t owe me anymore money for the car.”

Lee and I both exclaimed about God’s goodness. He answered this prayer of ours without any help from us!

Lee also told me that he received paperwork today informing him that he has a different parole officer.

Hmmm…! We don’t know what this means. It could be a huge wonderful answer to prayer. It could mean the same old monkey business, but for some reason this was an encouragement to both of us.

Lee is filling out paperwork to file for early release. He’s served whatever portion of his sentence is necessary for eligibility. We have no idea how this works. Does the state really let people go early? Does Lee have any shot at it?

We don’t know. I am just asking God to continue to work and lead in our lives. I don’t want to get my hopes up. I have had so many disappointments that I can’t get worked up about the possibility of an early release.

He told me that he spent time on the papers today and they aren’t as impossible as he originally anticipated.

Can you believe this weird up and down day of mine?

Well I’ll end on an up, I received another award. This time from 2 people.

Janean at JD’s Daze and Patricia at Pollywog Creek both sent me this award.

Excellence in Discipleship! What a humbling honor. I only blog here because I desire to glorify God in this trial. I want to show you through the horrible things we endure, how God is moving and working. The lessons he’s showing us are also good for you. God’s Word is God’s Word no matter what trial humans face. I pray that you read here and learn something you can apply to your walk with God. I will list my nominees soon.

**Edited to add, Julie at Our Joyful Days also sent this award to me.

She said, Lizzie is traveling a road that no one wants to be on. But she does it with grace and total reliance on God. Lizzie has strength that only comes from drawing on The Living Well. She is transparent and by sharing her life encourages her readers to keep striving.

After I saw Janean had sent this to me, I didn’t know what to do.

The awards on the side of this blog are growing. It is almost embarrassing. I am not at all a “show off” and I considered taking the awards down. I realized again though that this blog is God’s. I’ve told you before about my other blog.

The blog that my personal friends read floats around in the blogosphere pretty much unnoticed. Awards don’t flow there. People rarely comment on that blog. God reminded me that if it were about me, that blog would be awarded and read just as much as this one is.

So, I decided that I will keep the awards and display them.

Eventually, I may have to move them to their own page, but I will keep them. They are clear evidence to me that this blog has nothing to do with ME! It’s all about him.

So if you’re still reading this huge post, please pray for me.

Thanks.

Filed under: Encouragement, Enduring Trials, God's Provision, Prayer requests, Prison/Incarceration | 10 Thoughts Shared »