Today was wonderful! I didn’t have a headache. Praise the Lord!

That made my day so much more enjoyable. And probably my husband’s because I get grizzly when my head hurts so badly.

First, I will share that I am SOOOOO thankful to my sister in law and my mother in law. They watch James for me while I’m gone all day. That is such a blessing to Lee and me.

And to James! He gets spoiled when he spends all day with his Aunt and Grandma.

We arrived and went straight to the room. Our husbands were already there and waiting today. We must have been a bit behind schedule.

We sat in a big circle and our first assignment was to share things that are difficult for us.

We sit there basking in the presence of our spouse, and no matter how much growth has happened in our lives and marriages, there is so much pain represented in that room.

Lee and I were toward the beginning of the circle and I was already in tears by the time it was my turn.

The two couples before us, are living very difficult lives. The first couple was the couple I shared with you from our lunch last time. She is very ill and has visibly declined since our last meeting 3 weeks ago. I can’t imagine her being so ill and not having her husband to be with her. Or his frustration at seeing her and not being able to be there for her.

The second couple was reversed. He’s been very ill and had open heart surgery and an emergency appendix removal in the last few weeks. He was moving very slow and was pale today. I can’t imagine her frustration at not being able to be with him.

Prisoner’s cannot get visits in the hospital. Can you imagine your husband having open heart surgery and not being able to sit next to him to hold his hand until he wakes up?

So, after those 2 couples shared, I was quite weepy! I wanted to say it’s hard for me to do our family traditions without Lee being present. But I was too weepy for that. I said it’s hard being the wage earner and parenting alone.

Lee said it’s hard to miss James 1st 2 years of school. (Which did not help my weepy state!)

After we went around the circle, we moved on to an exercise about trust. We read some examples and filled in a sheet with areas that we trust our spouse and areas that we do not.

I thought that the areas I don’t trust him on weren’t so much trust issues as just things we need to work on. Hoping that makes sense.

I was blessed that he shared things I do that are difficult for him and I did the same and we discussed it calmly and rationally! That’s a huge growth in our marriage.

For lunch, my friend Linda asked if she and her husband could join us. That was a fun blessing and we all shared ways the Lord is working in our lives. Linda is a wonderful encouragement to me!

Lee knew the guard on duty today and said he’s a really nice guy. He did some joking around with him. Apparently this guard comes into the bakery where Lee works and they feed him treats. It was nice to see Lee interact with a guard that treated him respectfully and smiled at him.

Lunch was yummy but I think it was pork which isn’t my favorite. We had “Aztec” soup. Some sort of chicken and you could add cheese, avacado, onions, and tortilla chips. It was fun to try a new soup. And carrot cake for dessert! MMM!

After lunch, we watched another Gary Smalley video. This one was on making deposits and withdrawals in our relationships and that we need to make more deposits in our marriage than we withdraw. We gathered in a group afterwards to discuss some of the ideas.

I had a light bulb moment as we were talking. I realized that something Lee used to do that bothered me greatly is tied more to a childhood issue than it is to him.

One thing we had to do was rate the beginning of our marriage and then rate later years.

I said something that I’ve said often. The first year of our marriage was a fairy tale come true. It was unbelievable and special.

Later Lee said, “Did you really think our first year was perfect?” I told him that yes indeed I think it was. He said, “Well at least I gave you one good year before I ruined everything.”

I don’t know if this comes across hokey or not! But just to have him NEXT to me and his arm around me is such a comfort and blessing.

He put his hand on my knee at one point and stroked my leg with his thumb. Just like old times. I turned to him and he was crying.

“I miss you” he whispered.

Sigh! I miss him too. Typing this part makes me cry and I have a big lump in my throat. Lee is a very strong “don’t share emotions” type of man. He can sometimes verbally express things that I’d have never realized he was feeling.

His tears today were really a moment that I needed. I need to feel cherished and loved by my husband. I’m glad he was willing to share that emotion with me.

God is good to do so much work in us.

After the seminar, I stayed for a visit. We played some games and ordered dinner then I had to go pick up James.

He and I ran over to Gigi’s house where we began a Bible study with some of the prisoner’s wives that have been meeting together.

So today was a whopper and the rest of our weekend will be to, but I’m feeling especially blessed and full tonight.

Thank you for wondering how the day went and praying for us today. You are a very special part of my full heart.

Filed under: Marriage, Prison/Incarceration | 11 Thoughts Shared »