Help me out?
by adustyframe ~ January 21st, 2008Lee and I have been talking about hobbies and things we can do together when he comes home.
Our interests and talents are pretty different from one another.
We plan to take walks, have a date night, and maybe (!) take ballroom dancing lessons.
He wants to do woodworking and thinks that’s what we should do. I told him that I’d sit with him while he does woodworking but I’m not positive that I’d enjoy that. He wants something that we DO together.
So give me some ideas–the more the better.
Also, I want to redecorate our bedroom to make it a special haven. Our room is very small–we can only fit a full size bed in it and very little other furniture.
I’m trying to decide on bedding to save up for first. I’m pretty sure that I can put together the rest of the room after I choose bedding. I just can’t find anything that “speaks” to me.
Do you have a favorite bedding or photos of your master bedroom you can share?
Even if it’s super expensive bedding, point it out to me. I can still get ideas from things I can’t afford!
January 21st, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Go for solid colors red and brown or light blue and brown are elegant and modern. Try jersey sheets. lucky bamboo in a corner looks nice too
Red and brown sounds pretty! I love red. I looked at that color combination the other day at Target but I wasn’t sure what I thought about it. I’ll keep thinking.
January 21st, 2008 at 9:27 pm
How about cooking together? Like learning new recipes, experimenting with flavors, doing the grocery shopping together, etc.
Hey:) The cooking together is a great idea! Thanks.
January 21st, 2008 at 9:56 pm
I love our bedroom set. It was purchased from Target for us as a wedding gift. It’s a quilt of blues, greens, and tans. We have matching pillow shams and a tan dust ruffle, and we have cream sheets on the bed. We hung light green striped curtains in the window and we really like the look! It’s a bit of a country style, and we think it’s really easy to match other things to it.
Here is a picture of our quilt right after we got it (this was taken before we had the matching dust ruffle and curtains).
http://www.flickr.com/photos/twentysixcats/2211527178/
Unfortunately I don’t have a very good recent picture of our bedroom, but hopefully you get the idea! If you’re interested, I can take one tomorrow and email it to you.
Thanks for the link. That is pretty:)
January 21st, 2008 at 10:54 pm
I don’t have a lot of experience, but the one thing I’d say about your bedroom is that while it may be small, you can make it nice. Try to find some good bedding in a color you both enjoy. Hang a few pictures you like on the wall. Make sure everything is tidy and organized (my problem spot!). Life is just so much nicer when you have a place you really enjoy being.
Maureen–I spent the other day cleaning and organizing the room trying to think what I wanted to do–that’s my problem spot too! It’s too easy to have piles all around.
January 22nd, 2008 at 5:45 am
A hobby that many couples REALLY enjoy (and James could do it with you too if you wanted) is geocaching… You use a handheld gps (not that expensive anymore) to find hidden boxes, the clues/coordinates are listed on geocaching sites online and they are all over the place, so you can do them locally for a short date night, or if you travel anywhere, you can do them along the way too!
That’s something I never would have thought of. Do you do it?
January 22nd, 2008 at 6:50 am
Here’s the difference that I have found between my husband and I as far as being together is concerned. If he is working on a project, and I am in the room, that counts as sharing a hobby (to him). So, while woodworking may not appeal to you, is there something you could do in the same space?
That’s what I wanted to do. I told him I’d keep him company! That’s not what he wants–he wants us to be doing the same thing. We’ll find something.:)
January 22nd, 2008 at 8:02 am
I used solid wine color and gold colors in our bedroom, just a coat of paint on the walls (one wall dark wine and the other gold). It was drastic and scarry to me at first since i’m such a plain jane but when it was done my husband and i both actually liked it. it really had a romantic feel with those rich colors. i don’t have any pictures to share, sorry, but i looked through magazines gallore to find something i liked.
also, I’ve often found my husband’s hobbies hard to join up with too, but in every instance i at least give it a shot. many times i’ve been surprised at what i ended up liking. we’ve watched baseball games together, exercised together, taken up triathaloning together, metal detecting, scuba diving, hiking…most things i try to join in with him. Not many of my hobbies does he enjoy. He brings out the adventure in me!
God bless you as you seek to bring unity in your marriage for God’s glory!
Thank you for the ideas. The dark colors sound really pleasant.
January 22nd, 2008 at 8:34 am
If you can paint that completely changes a room and can make it so elegant without doing much. I didn’t have much money when decorating our bedroom so I went through our pictures and found some that represented our married life–kissing at the wedding, picture of our hands, a picture of my husband with our son at the hospital, some pictures of me or him asleep with our newborns. All of these were candid–none staring at the camera. Then I scanned them and switched them to black and white and printed them in different sizes. I bought cheap frames at Walmart….Anyway I thought this personalized our room and made it romantic.
I read a blog and just love what this woman did with their master bedroom. So I included that link. (-: Hope that is okay.
http://coeurdcourt.blogspot.com/2005/12/before-and-after-pics-of-our-bedroom.html
Thanks for the link. I love the photo ideas. Thank you.
January 22nd, 2008 at 10:20 am
if woodworking is appealing to him perhaps you would enjoy the finishing aspects. tole painting, staining, adding decorative trim to his handiwork? lining boxes with fabric & upholstering chairs. etc.
if you make jewelry and he makes jewelry boxes I think that counts as a shared hobby. if he makes quilt racks and you make quilts then ditto.
you don’t necessarily have to do the same thing, if your interests are aligned.
he could make clock bodies & you could add the clockworks
etc and so On.
Mrs Nehemiah
Great tips! I think I’ll run that angle by him. Bandsaws and routers just don’t do it for me;)
January 22nd, 2008 at 2:22 pm
I’m right with you on the bedroom decorating scale. Ours doesn’t have room for much more than the bed and a path around it. But I’m really thinking about trying to make a headboard to go with our mattress/boxspring set. Cut out of plywood, padded, staple on some nice fabric. I could build on that, then. Blues and browns are the colors that are favorites right now and I agree with the comment about the paint. Cheap and room-changing.
I thought you might like to look at this website and even as the same question here. It’s Antique Mommy’s new decorating website.
http://inspiredspaces.wordpress.com/
My husband also likes that we do things together but he is often happpy when I’m just with him, keeping him company, encouraging him, being interested. Maybe Lee would like that too if he knew that it brought you pleasure just to be with him and share that time. We sometimes go on walks together for fitness, we have also gone camping and really liked that. I can’t wait until you have this problem in the present instead of the future!
Thanks for all the ideas. I can’t wait til it’s a present consideration too!
January 22nd, 2008 at 3:53 pm
I think that men like activities … things they can do … while women like simply being together in a shared space. I think that’s something all couples have to work at until they find that magical give and take that works well for them.
As for your bedroom… don’t do something just because it’s fashionable or because you see it in a magazine or it’s what’s featured in the stores. Take some time and think about what you want that room to be… what purpose will it serve for you… and then think about the colors or patterns or designs that make you feel like the purpose you want the room to serve. If you want a comforting area, pick colors that soothe you. If you want it to be energetic, pick art that makes you feel alive.
Above all, make the room speak to you and Lee.
Chel, I like your idea about what I want the room to be. It’s hard with it being so small. I’d love for it to be a get away from it all just for us with chairs and comfy areas but it “ain’t happening” in that room:)
January 22nd, 2008 at 7:17 pm
We like to play board games, take hikes, and discuss what we’re reading–things that can be done just the two of us or with our children.
Come on over to my blog when you have a chance–I’ve got an award for you!
Thanks! I’ll pop over soon…
January 22nd, 2008 at 9:27 pm
We enjoy canoeing and kayaking (half day trips on a scenic river). It’s very relaxing and invigorating. When we were dating, Allen pulled me out of my comfort zone and gave me golf lessons at the driving range.
What about your photography? Is that something Lee might be a help in? Building props and/or building scenic areas in your yard that would work for shooting portraits? Perhaps you could team up on researching and designing and building props that would also make your yard a beautiful oasis?
For bedroom ideas, we have a khaki-colored comforter with wine-colored accent pillows and curtains (we used a textured throw blanket and rich pillow fabrics to dress it up). Masculine colors but richly romantic. Must have candles, too!
At our previous house, we cut thin moulding to make tall rectangles on a wall. It was an inexpensive way to add architectural interest and make a blank, boring wall seem taller. After attaching the moulding, we painted it the same color of the wall (Porter Paint Sahara) to make it subtle. I can probably find a picture if you are interested.
Good luck!
I’d love to see a photo but only if you have time to find it!
Having him build me some backdrops is a great idea.
January 23rd, 2008 at 9:11 am
You know what? I don’t think we have any hobbies! David is a work and then often busy with sermon/bible study prep, or at church. Every now and then we make the effort to get out and walk- although these days we have two tag alongs! He like soduko puzzles and I am rubbish at them. Sometimes we play a game together, Not much help to you am I?
Re bedrooms- I really wish all the books and computer etc were not in mine- but that is the only place for them. Try and keep the room a bedroom/sanctuary away from the other ‘stuuf’. I believe that neutrals are good- you can add colour through accessories, cushions, throws etc.
Thanks–games is a good one. We do a lot of that now!
January 23rd, 2008 at 9:16 am
Oh I wanted to also say: camping and hiking is a great way to “get away” inexpensively together during the warmer months. It’s also a very healthy activity. My husband and I love to go camping; the biggest expense is getting the tent and grill and other misc. equipment. You could borrow that if you know someone who likes to camp, until you’re able to build up your own collection. If you’re close enough, you can do day hiking trips too.
Another thing my husband and I like to do is take the train downtown and then walk around, photographing interesting sights. Sometimes I use Paul as a model, other times he likes to grab the camera and use me as a model.
He often can see potential photos that I can’t, even though I’m generally more artistic than him. I hope y’all find something!!
Great ideas! Thanks–I know we’ll find something.
January 23rd, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Hi Lizzie,
If you check my blog, I put a picture of my bedroom on there.
As far as hobbies, we really enjoy doing anything together. Just being together is enough. But we do enjoy fishing, camping, hiking, canoeing, playing games, shooting bow and arrow together and watching old black and white movies while snuggling on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn.
I bet you guys will find something that really works for both of you. I will be praying for you both as you seek to find something.
Love,
Rebekah
Rebekah–thanks for the link. I will peek. Thanks for all the ideas too.
January 24th, 2008 at 11:24 am
You can have a get-away even if the room’s small. Sometimes, I think a small room is cozier… it’s easier to achieve that warm, embracing feeling if it’s not a large space. You can get big pillows on the bed, and you and Lee can pile onto the bed to read or watch tv or whatnot… then you don’t need extra chairs.
January 24th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
We do various things together – some things we enjoy together, and some one person enjoys more than the other, I think.
When we were first married and living in an apartment, we built a kitchen counter with shelves underneath it and then some window boxes for flowers and vegetables. We both enjoyed that.
For most of the projects in our house, I think Heather more helped than working together, probably partly due to watching the kids, or being pregnant, so not having as much energy to work with me. (the kids are good helpers on woodworking projects – our four year old is reasonably competent with a drill now, and both our 18 month and 4 year old helped nail and screw in some parts of our pantry)
We do a fair amount of reading out loud to each other. It started when I found out that Heather hadn’t even heard of some of the authors I enjoyed as a kid (Roald Dahl was the first one we talked about), and we have probably read a hundred books over the last couple of years. We are currently reading, “Many Waters” by Madeline L’Engle, and Jonathan looks forward to it each night, though some of it I censor when reading, or wait until he is asleep for some portions.
We used to play games, but I got kind of gamed out after playing so many a couple years ago with different friends. The problem with most games, or at least most people who play the games, is that they are so focused on the game, there isn’t any room for interaction between the players, other than the rules of the game.
We go for walks – nothing particularly romantic (we live in the city), just head out down the alley, and walk maybe a mile or two, and the kids may or may not make it that far, but can crash in the stroller if they need to.
Someone mentioned something about differences in how people consider “together” time, and that is something Heather and I discovered at one point when Heather said we hadn’t spent any time together, and I thought we had been spending lots of time together…
My definition was (I think it has changed some with the influence of Heather) along the lines of if you were in the same room together, then you were spending time together, where Heather considers it “together” only if you are actually doing the same activity together, though maybe each reading a separate book could semi-count as being together.
I once asked a professor of mine (who was celebrating his 40th anniversary or something like that) about advice for a guy just married, and he said to do things that Heather likes to do. So, I went home and thought up an activity that I normally wouldn’t have taken part in (scrapbooking) and Heather was so thrilled that I would show an interest in her scrapbooks, and we had a fun day working on them together.
Oh, we have made a number of quilts together – taking lots of old t-shirts and cutting them into squares, and making great, sentimental, and soft quilts.
These are all wonderful ideas, Jon. Thank you for sharing them. I’m going to print this all out to send to Lee.
February 20th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
stuff to do together: there are so many great ideas that really aren’t us — lately, we walk through the ghetto together, to the public library or watch old movies, that’s about it.