A little glimpse

by adustyframe ~ April 18th, 2008


 James does not open up very often about all of this. He’s a very good little boy, but I know he hurts as we all do.

He doesn’t often talk about things. Sometimes I ask him questions and he answers briefly. He doesn’t want to talk about it.

Some of that is being a boy. Some of that is being related to his father! They don’t share their feelings easily.

The other day a police siren wailed down our street. He said,

“GOOD! Someone is in trouble.”

I said, “That’s not good! Why would you want someone to be in trouble?”
He said, “So they know how I feel.”

I put my arms around him and he leaned his head on my shoulder.

“You don’t want another little kid to be this sad do you?” I asked him.

He shook his head no against my shoulder.

“Some kids have all the luck.” he whispered.

I asked what he meant and he said, “About their dads.”

I said, “Does it make you sad when you see your friends with their dads?” He nodded his head yes.

I told him how much his daddy loves him. I said his daddy will be home the exact second that he can.

We talked about daddy and all the special things he does for us.

James cuddled with me for a little while and then went to play. He was fine. He just needed to unburden for a few minutes.

I’m glad that he did even though I hate that he hurts.


8 Thoughts Shared to A little glimpse

  1. Charlotte

    Poor little guy. I think you did the right thing in that situation, as he needed comfort and not something at all resembling a lecture. However, in the future (when he’s not necessarily feeling “down” or in need of a hug, but just on an ordinary day), you could think of talking about your Compassion child, or others like him, and how many kids around the world don’t have fathers at all, and how James is not alone. You could express that you feel fortunate that James’ daddy is still alive and well and that, even though you don’t get to see him, you will one day … and you can write letters and communicate until then.

    Soemtimes it is nice to be able to let kids know that they are not alone in their suffering, and also to let them know that we still have much to be thankful for!

  2. Jenn

    Aw, this made me cry.

    I can’t imagine how tough this must be on a little guy. He’s lucky to have a Mom who cares so very much about his feelings.

    Soon. Soon they will be reunited.

  3. Lisa

    Give him another hug from me. 🙂

  4. Pam

    He is so blessed to have a mom who validates his feelings….he needs to know he can share anything with you and it’s OK….he should not feel shame or guilt for being sad…I’m sure there will ba a time of adjusting when his dad comes home….but then you will ALL have each other and the Lord to embrace, comfort and calm you all….God Bless,Pam

  5. Kim

    *sigh* Poor kiddo! {{{{hugs}}}}

  6. Chel

    How sad! Most kids his age associate police cars and sirens and policemen with safety and protection, and your James unfortunately has a different point of view. He’s a brave little boy.

    Chel, it is sad. We do NOT teach him to fear the police. I never discuss with him any of the junk that has happened. But he did get lied to by one and unfortunately THEY caused him to distrust.

  7. Chel

    And his experience is vastly different from those of lots of kids. And there’s no reason for him to feel any differently! If a policeman had taken my daddy away, I’d probably be pretty displeased with them myself.

    Something I did with my kids when they were little was to say a prayer every time an ambulance passed us… for the people inside, their families, the healthcare people who would be working with them. Maybe James could say a prayer for the little boys and girls of the people involved when he hears the police sirens. It might not lessen his distrust of law enforcement, but it might help ease the hurt. If he felt like he was helping someone else with his prayers, maybe his own pain would be eased a bit.

    That is a good idea;)

  8. Susanna

    Dear James

    I have no idea what it is like not to have your daddy with you.But I do know one thing. God loves your daddy very much and is making him into a strong, loving and godly man. When your daddy gets home he is going to be a great daddy- he already is, he just can’t be there, and he will be so proud of you. God knows this hurts for you. His Father had to turn his back on Him when He was on the cross-He can comfort you better than anyone (although I bet your mum gives the best hugs!) We are praying that you will be happy and have your daddy home soon.

    Lots of love Susanna and her boys.

    Susanna, you made me bawl. I will read this to James. Thank you.

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