Marriage Seminar

by adustyframe ~ April 25th, 2008

We had a wonderful time yesterday. I didn’t get a headache. Thank you for praying!

First thing in the morning there was a snafu with some of the women’s registration. The chaplain said several of them were not registered. She had to dig through records and get security clearances for each of them. Thankfully I wasn’t on that list. That gave us a late start to the morning.

To start the day we read about soft love/hard love from Gary Smalley’s Book The Two Sides of Love.

They shared some of the characteristics and how to balance them. Then we met in small groups to discuss what we had learned.

A new couple came with the facilitating group. That was neat to see. They came to determine if they want to help with the seminars in the future.

We took a fun personality test  from Gary Smalley. Here is a link online where you can take the test and see what you are.

Here is a video of Gary Smalley explaining the personalities.

I enjoy taking personality tests so I can learn more about myself. Knowing my husband’s personality helps me too. This test was lighthearted and fun.

Lee was a lion/otter. I was a golden retriever/beaver. Lee and I are ALWAYS different when we do these evaluations. I guess that’s why we compliment one another so well.

In the afternoon session, we watched Dr. Smalley’s video explanation of the personalities. He includes a lot of humor. This is a good thing–especially after lunch.
He is enjoyable to listen to and he has a heart to help marriages. I’ve enjoyed learning from him.

For lunch they served–

Deep Fried Cod, French Fries, Cheddar Bay Biscuits, Coleslaw,

Chicken dumpling soup, salad, and carrot cake.

It was all yummy and I don’t usually eat fish.

Once again, Lee and I ended up without another couple at our table. Woo hoo! We had a “date”.

In the morning while I was getting ready to leave, I prayed that we could have the nice guard today. There is a guard that chats with Lee and seems to be a decent man. He knew Lee from the kitchen and they always chatted or teased with each other. When I got into the room yesterday, I was so delighted to see that the nice guard was on duty.

I told Lee that I prayed about that and he told the guard. He said, “Well I guess prayer does work.” During lunch, he came over to our table and winked at Lee. He said, “Hey will you keep an eye on these guys while I use the bathroom?” I told Lee that shows how much this guard likes him. (Of course Lee was not in charge in any way.)

We even got to participate in a practice tornado drill. That took quite a bit of time from the seminar too. It was definitely not a normal seminar day.

In the afternoon, the facilitator asked if it was ok to share that this was our last seminar. He said he wanted to ask everyone to lift us up before the Lord. Of course we agreed.

He had stopped by our table at lunch time and said how much they’ve enjoyed having us in the group and that he would miss us. Hearing that we are loved and will be missed in the prison was actually humbling.

At the very end of the seminar, we always stand, hold hands, and pray. The facilitator said, “Well we have a young couple here who will be leaving us.” He asked everyone to remember to pray for us. Then he prayed out lourd for us. Being prayed for publicly was an honor.

One  thing that blesses my heart about these facilitators is their honesty about life. The man told us yesterday that often people feel sorry for him that he has to go to the prison. He also said that people assume that he is the one doing all the ministering.

He shared with us that he learns so much everytime he comes to the marriage seminar. He said, “I tell them it’s only God’s grace that any of us aren’t there with them. We are all sinners.” I’m sure he’s real popular! (haha)

I’ve often heard them say that in prison “It’s real”. One of them said, “At work, everyone is pretending. At church lots of people are. Sometimes I am pretending. In prison there is no need for the facades. Here it’s real.” I think they are right.

Lee and I spoke with them about being involved in facilitating the seminars. It will be some time before Lee is allowed to do that. Probably when he is done with probation. I think that could definitely be a great direction for us.

When we left, we went around to thank each of the facilitators. They hugged us. One of the older ladies kissed Lee on the cheek.  What a blessing to have people who love and accept my husband. My husband the prisoner.


9 Thoughts Shared to Marriage Seminar

  1. Kim

    Your husband: A man redeemed. A man forgiven. A man loved. A man blessed.

    Thank you, Kim.

  2. Jenn

    What a blessing that ministry has been to you both! And I think you and Lee would make wonderful facilitators in the future.

    Thank you, Jenn.

  3. PrayerSister

    Kim — that was perfect
    Hey — I’m praying
    Thank you!

  4. Pam

    What a blessing. Pam, South Bend

  5. Jen B

    Praise the Lord you had a good day – was praying for you! I do hope you will continue blogging even after your husband is home!

    Thank you for praying for us! I am pretty sure I’ll still blog. It will depend on my husband’s wishes.

  6. Katherine

    You have an amazing talent for writing. I am so happy for you and Lee!

    aww;) Thanks

  7. Barbara H.

    What a great way to end the seminars! I’m so glad God brought people like that into both your lives.

    It would be good if they had seminars like that a time or two for adjusting after getting out of prison. But I imagine it would be all the same principles, just a different setting.

    I think it is so neat that you both want to help with these in the future.

  8. Chel

    That is such a wonderful thing… it shows your true character that you are loved and respected.

    Don’t you have these seminars once a month? Does that mean Lee will be home really soon?

    ok;) I think some of you missed this post.

    He will soon be released from prison but he won’t be coming home until ? (We don’t know yet)

  9. Chel

    Well, of course I missed that post. It was around my birthday. I get unusually preoccupied. 🙂 It’s like I’m six. I’ll go read it now.

    And while not home isn’t as super as home, it already sounds better than prison. Yes?

    Yes, this is better than prison. That’s ok you missed it;)

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