Feeling the Pressure

by adustyframe ~ April 30th, 2008

Lee is feeling the pressure of all our unknowns. His parole officer still has not met with him.

She is on vacation until 1 week before his release. ONE WEEK! One week before his release with no questions answered. No plans in place. No knowledge of his rules, his accommodations, his schedule. Nothing.

Talk about “down to the wire”.

Tonight, when I went to see him, he was really frustrated. He said he’s a bad dad.

I told him he was not. He said if he was a good dad he wouldn’t have made the wrong choices.

I told him that yes he did make wrong choices, but he can’t change what he did. That doesn’t mean he can’t be a good dad from this time forward.

He said, “I was so selfish. I was only thinking about myself. I thought the one thing I wouldn’t mess up was being a good dad.”

Then he started crying.

It hurts to see him feeling so frustrated and helpless and being helpless to comfort him.

I think that he’s just feeling the pressure of his upcoming changes. He submitted his release plans 6 months before his release. That is what they are instructed to do.

I don’t know why they choose to wait until the final days before a release to even speak with him. It’s frustrating and stressful and we’re all feeling it.

We are cautious. We cannot allow our hopes to get to high. We have no idea what the next weeks hold for us.

So we hold our breath and wait.


7 Thoughts Shared to Feeling the Pressure

  1. Jeana

    Much unknown, but much to be excited about too, yes?

    Let’s just hope the eggs at the new place will be as good as the ones he’s grown used to. 🙂

    Lol Jeana

  2. Pam

    Lee now has a great opportunity to be the best dad that he can be….not perfect….but perfect for his family. His ecperience makes him uniquely qualified to give a “life lesson” to his son about consequenses and the grace and forgiveness of Christ.
    Prayerfully, Pam

    Yes! you are right.

  3. Ame

    gosh, already down to one week! have i been in a fog over here (or rather in illness, but ‘fog’ sounds better ;).

    may you all physically feel God’s peace like a warm blanket being wrapped tightly around you.

  4. TransitionGirl

    I believe that being a good dad is not about not making any mistakes. It’s about admitting their mistakes and allowing God to change and refine their lives, all while the children are watching. One thing I’ve appreciated with my dad is that he has always been honest about his failings, his sins and he has always been a great example of falling but not giving up. The greatest gift Lee gives to James is teaching James that no matter how sinful we are, as long as we are willing to like God work in our lives, we are redeemed and forever loved by our heavenly father.

  5. Jenn

    Wow, I like the comments people have left here. They are so right…it’s about redemption. Perhaps you can share them with Lee. I will keep you all in my prayers during the upcoming week.

    Good idea. I printed them out and mailed them to him.

  6. Chel

    I left a comment yesterday about enjoying your anticipation. In truth, I hate the waiting. That uncertain period before this thing or that. I’d much rather already be in whatever it is, so I understand the fear and hesitation.

    The parole officer had to take a vacation sometime. 🙂 I guess better now than maybe sometime down the road when you need her more.

    Hang in there.

  7. Katherine

    Praying for all of you!

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