Grizzling
by adustyframe ~ June 2nd, 2008 
Have you ever been grizzly? (Ok! Not this kind of grizzly but I couldn’t resist.)
That’s what we call whining and complaining.
Lee and I have been struggling with the grizzlies lately. We do not understand why James can’t visit. We don’t know why getting a job has been so difficult. We do not understand why the parole officer has taken on our homeschooling as her thing to complain about. (Please pray about that! She needs to back off on that one.)
On Sunday, Pastor’s Sunday School lesson was about being content. I sat there listening and prayed that the Lord would help me content even in this.
I wonder though how content can I be if I’m praying for God to change it? I am still praying for a change. I am praying for our family to be together again–and soon!
Lee has faced quite a bit of discouragement and frustration. He’s learning to bite his tongue. I’m proud of him because that is a new skill for him.
His meeting with his parole officer didn’t go well last week. After I spoke with him on the phone, I was upset about several things. The homeschooling comments being one of them.
I said, “Ok Lord. We just need to bless that woman. Bless her bless her bless her.” I don’t know how to bless her, but I’m praying for her and when I do I just say “God please bless her”. I’m certain that if I weren’t praying a blessing on her, I’d be very grouchy about the whole thing.
Lee said that when he got in the car on Saturday, the radio preacher reminded the listeners that nothing we have gone through is anywhere near the suffering Christ endured on the cross. He said that it felt like a knife in his heart and he said, “Ok Lord. Help me to remember that.”
So even in these period of separation, waiting, and frustration God is teaching us and working on our hearts.
You can pray for us though. We need strength to fight off the grizzlies!
Isaiah 61:3
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning,
the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.
June 2nd, 2008 at 10:57 pm
So many people still do not understand homeschooling! I wonder if there is an article or book you (or Lee) can give her to help her learn more? I also don’t see what homeschooling has to do with his parole–in any capacity!
I will keep you all in my prayers!
Hugs,
Kat
June 3rd, 2008 at 4:48 am
You and Lee are obviously very different from the people she is used to working with. I bet she’ll come around.
June 3rd, 2008 at 4:53 am
I can’t remember where, but I’m pretty sure it says in the Word that what you pray in blessing on another, the Lord will also bestow upon you. Or something like that… I’ll have to find it. When you pray for abundant blessing, include her finance, on her family, with her relationships, on her faith… *smile*
I hope everything goes well, Lizzie
June 3rd, 2008 at 6:00 am
My daughter Jeana (daystocome)pointed out your blog to me, ans asked if I had any encouraging remarks, because of my background as a probation officer. I have just skimmed through some of your entries. It seems to me that you both have a great attitude about this whole experience. The struggles you are having to adjust to his officer are a normal part of the process, I think. Unfortunately, when an officer gets a new case, he/she doesn’t often have an opportunity to sit down and read the person’s whole file before taking on the case. I pray that his officer will take the time to get acquainted with him and you and your son. You are wise to explore the legal ramifications of his conditions, since sometimes what was intended gets “lost in translation”. I pray for you all as a family and each of you individually.
Jan
June 3rd, 2008 at 6:55 am
An administrator of mine at a Christian school once said, “Nothing touches you that does not first flow through the filter of God’s love for you.”
I have never forgotten that statement. Even tough and unfair and frustrating situations are filtered and purified through God’s great love for me before they even reach me.
June 3rd, 2008 at 7:12 am
I’m scared to send this, afraid it will sound somehow critical. It is not at all meant that way!
I’ll pray about the homeschooling, but for folks “in the system” [ie govt] it will look very fishy that a “single” Mom [while Lee was "inside"] managed to homeschool. I know having been there and had the CPS at my door while homeschooling. Don’t be scared and defensive–try not to bring it up and do make sure your “ducks are in a row.” Your blog is a great asset–it tells often of the times James went to the store with you and was supervised. Remember, people who have no real experience with homeschool are often suspicious. Those in the system HAVE sadly seen the failures, the neglect etc. You and James can clearly show them how much was accomplished. You likely have work samples [some even on your blog], a clear plan in place and hopefully an attendance record, too. It’s the “single” thing that is most suspicious, I’m sure, along with sterotypes of inmates families. All harsh, but sadly, often true albeit not in your case!!
I pray for you guys daily. I know it’s hard for Lee on the job front, but employers are naturally skeptical of anyone with a record–mainly due to the recidivism rates and , of course, sterotypes. Plus the economy is just not very helpful right now!! (GM just closed 4 truck plants for example.) I KNOW you and Lee will make it. It’s so tough, but God is there with you. Remember the ways he HAS provided in HIS time for you and James. Your patience WILL help change people’s minds. Remember, they are seeing Lee the way you did when you downloaded the photos–not thru loving eyes. They see the application with the words “convicted” [in the worldly sense] and “prison” on them. They see contact information for a half-way house or parole officer–not, sadly, for the home he longs to return to. God is really, really using you guys not just for Lee’s good, but for the good of all those guys and women leaving prison to try to make good on their promise not to go back! It’s up to you two to teach them the real, Godly meaning of “convicted.” What an awesome ministry [but also a darned tough one!] I will really, really stay in prayer for you guys. As for why James can’t visit–I don’t get that either–at least not a supervised visit for an hour a week or something. Even that seems harsh, but it is good that you are trying to live with it with grace.
Hang on a little longer. You are covered with prayer by those of us who have come to know you thru your writing and by your Church, Prison Ministry voluteers, family and friends.
June 3rd, 2008 at 8:16 am
I’m confused. What is the reasoning for not allowing him to see his son? Most prisoners are allowed to see their children, so why wouldn’t a parolee be allowed to? That really does not make sense.
And really, there is nothing she can do about your homeschooling, correct? Can you *very respectfully* tell her that you are complying with all homeschooling laws and if she has an issue she needs to talk to your lawyer about it?
Praying for you all.
Love Samantha
June 3rd, 2008 at 10:57 am
I suppose many people unfamiliar with homeschooling think it’s “odd” or don’t believe that a parent can be qualified to teach.
I suppose I might have been one of those people at one time…until I began teaching piano lessons for a few homeschooling families and became more familiar with it. We now have a teenaged babysitter who is a brilliant and mature homeschooled gal.
And especially now that I’ve seen first-hand the school system fail my son with special needs? I TOTALLY understand and embrace homeschooling.
I’ve come to learn this: The parents are a child’s first teacher.
As always, you’re all in my prayers. Especially that the parole officer sees that you are truly a different kind of family, with Christ at the center.
June 3rd, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Can you ask nicely why Lee can’t see his son?
Can you ask why she is concerned about his home schooling?
Is there a protocol for getting questions answered?
Prayfully, Pam
June 3rd, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Dear Lizzie, I don’t have much to add to these excellent comments but I will pray for the parole officer and you all. love, Susan
June 3rd, 2008 at 8:50 pm
….”the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness”… We sang this song on Saturday at our music minister’s funeral. He was 46, had cancer of the brain. His two beautiful preschoolers were at the service. They just love this praise song, and started clapping, twirling, then dancing in front of the casket. Their little friends joined them. I am so grateful to be part of this church. (You might be curious, we are a white church, near Chicago, with an Anglical background – who would ever guess?)
Anyhooooo, when you quoted this Scripture, I just had to thank you, and share how it is ministering to another fellowship which is in a different kind of pain. The same Lord loves us all.