A revelation
by adustyframe ~ July 8th, 2008Throughout this trial, I’ve had a difficult time needing so much help. I know that is pride and I strive to give it to God.
It’s still hard to need help. I’d rather be helping!
One of the things I’ve needed much help with is care for James. When I was running the store, it was to give him a break from being there all the time.
It’s also been so I could visit Lee at the prison, or spend time with him after his release.
I usually have felt that I’m imposing. I try very hard to not ask unless it’s necessary.
I make sure to know what time is best for the caregiver. If he was staying through a meal, I’d usually take food or snacks.
I never want to look like a “taker” or a “mooch”. That is because of my upbringing. We were taught to take care of ourselves and not use people. That’s a very good ethic, however, I wasn’t (and still am not) living a “normal” life.
Last week, I had a revelation.
My sister in law (Lee’s sister) is a single mom too. I had her little boy over for the whole day. He came at lunch time and she picked him up at bedtime.
Guess what? It was good for me.
I realized that having a child over for a considerable amount of time was no big deal. I didn’t care in the least that she didn’t bring his food for the meals he had with us.
I just enjoyed hearing him and James play. I made his meals and enjoyed caring for him.
I realized that people do not care if James is over. They don’t care if I brought enough food for everyone to snack on.
I’m thankful that those who care for James are careful to communicate with me if the timing is bad. That helps me to know that when they say “yes”, they truly mean it.
You’d think by now that my pride would be long gone. Nope, it’s still kicking.
Galatians 5:13
… by love serve one another.
July 8th, 2008 at 11:52 am
My husband is a giver….a rescuer….to a falt….he doesn’t receive gifts or presents well….I have tried to explain to him to examine how he feels when he gives to others when he blesses others and how wonderful it feels…..and that he is robbing others of that joy by not allowing others to bless him. Please know that when others give you a gift of time, money, listening it is a blessing to the giver too. God Bless, Pam
So maybe not wanting help is the downside to being a giver? I like to give;0! Thank you for sharing this with me.
July 8th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
allo, sorry i havent been commenting, but congrats on Lee’s release…remember even in the hard times, he’s out now…even if not fully….
I pray so often for little James to be able to also reunite with Lee…but I guess God has a plan, he always does doesnt HE….
I’m glad you came to realize that people don’t mind having James and that they enjoy helping, i too am grateful when those can be honest when i request something…
i used to have a deal with my mom…for both of us to be HONEST, really really honest when we seek help from each other…that way we never felt guilty accepting and never felt bad when the other simply wasnt in a position to help in that way…
celina in canada
Celina, I have missed you. Don’t feel badly about not commenting. Just pop in whenever you have time.
Thank you for your kind words. You’re right that God has a plan.
July 8th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Let’s not even go there about pride. *rollin my eyes*
I so get this post. But rest and enjoy that people love you enough to want to help. And as sweet as you are, who wouldn’t want to help you guys?
Thanks for being so nice. I hope I’m sweet;0. I don’t some days though. I’m a sinner just like everyone else.
July 9th, 2008 at 6:31 am
As a mother to an only child, sometimes I get so much more done when someone else is at the house distracting and occupying my son (he’s not a self-entertainer). Having someone here actually gives me a break!
Keep in mind that by receiving blessings from others, you are sometimes blessing them without even knowing it!
You’re right! Having friends over is actually a big help rather than a burden:). It keeps the little guy busy.
Thank you for the encouragement:)!
July 9th, 2008 at 8:14 am
Pride is like that – so stubborn! You think you couldn’t possibly have any left, and then it pops up most unexpectedly. Ask me how I know.