Please pray
by adustyframe ~ July 11th, 2008We submitted the 3rd appeal to probation for James to be able to visit with Lee.
Last week, Lee received the decision from his probation agent’s supervisor. He said he will leave the agent’s decision as is for now. No explanation and frankly, I think they didn’t read any of the documents we included.
When I told Pastor, this week, he shook his head and said, “Why? I don’t understand this.” If you remember our Pastor has been on this ride with us even before Lee went to his first court hearing.
I don’t understand this either. Sometimes when I’ve prayed I’ve said, “God! Do you see this? Do you see what’s going on? Do you see how sad everyone is? You do have a plan right?”
Then I have to remember that he is my El Roi, my God who Sees. He does see and he does have a plan. I know that but this is so hard.
Sometimes I feel like someone must not be praying hard enough! I fight against the feeling that I have to DO something. There is nothing I can do other than pray. I know that prayer is huge. It’s not a small thing.
The appeal I mailed yesterday goes to the regional supervisor. I am praying for her. I’m praying that she will read the documents and that she will agree with the evidence from professionals and from the court itself that there is no reason for this.
Tonight, James sat on the couch and watched home movies with his dad in them and he cried.
My Mommy heart can hardly take it. It’s hard to bear the sadness of my son and my husband. I have my own sadness too, but I have to hope that God is allowing this because he’s up to something huge.
We are praying for relief very very soon. We also need the grace and strength to bear this and not give up. We’ve come too far.
Psalm 30:5
Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
July 11th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
(((Hugs and Prayers))) I am so sorry, Lizzie. May God grace with the strength and wisdom you need to walk victoriously through these hard times. I pray that you are encouraged to know that others are praying with and for you, dear friend.
Thank you for praying. It is a huge encouragement to us that people care enough to check on us and tell us they pray for us.
July 12th, 2008 at 4:50 am
Just as you commented to me – it’s the same but different. We’re missing Daddy here too, but there will be no appeal.
Is James allowed ANY contact with his father (phone calls or letters)? Some days that’s all that gets us through. I even have my son type up and email some of his home school assignments.
Praying that God will make His purpose known!
We can understand each other a bit huh? The contact is zero at this point according to the rules. Thank you for praying.
July 12th, 2008 at 5:55 am
I don’t read every post, so I might have missed it along the way somewhere. Do the probation folks have a reason for keeping them separated? And presumably they are trying to protect you from yourself, since you “obviously” don’t know what is best for your own children, or that Lee is pressuring you and that you don’t really want him home? Not that I expect things like that to make any sense, but it seems that they have to have some reason that at least makes sense to themselves…
I’m not really sure. We haven’t been given a reason. I think that part of it may be that they assume I don’t know how to make a good decision.
Honestly, I know that many women that parole officers deal with probably do need to be told what to do and how to make decisions. I’m not one of them, but it’s difficult if not impossible to show them that.
July 12th, 2008 at 6:34 am
That is one of my favorite verses. Hold to it… you may never know why this is happening, but we have to trust that God has your good in mind. Thinking of you.
Thank you.
July 12th, 2008 at 7:57 am
I can’t understand so much that goes on in our legal system, but you are in our prayers. The pain must be tough, keep clinging to God and your husband. You are an example to others through all this.
We don’t understand either. Thank you for praying.
July 12th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Please know that I am praying for you & my heart & soul is crying out to our merciful & loving God to allow James to see his Daddy again soon. You all are loved!!
Thank you, Andrea.
July 13th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Praying for you and your family Lizzie. What a wonderful reunion it will be when they see each other again. Have the camera ready!
Thank you for praying.
July 14th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Lizzie,
Ok. Remember, I truly know nothing about this particular sitation, but every time I read this, I feel like I need to say this – but I don’t want to a)state the obvious, or b)seem insensitive. So please know that I say all of this in love.
James does need to be able to see his Daddy. You know that, Lee knows that, James knows that. But children are so impressionable, and so easily hurt. Yes, this is hurting him to not see Lee, but remember that the probation officer has a duty to the state and to Lee to transition his life back to “the outside world” and to a crime-free life.
Once prison is over, a prisoner has to go through a process called “de-prisonization.” The outside world is very different – and they need time to readjust. The recidivism rate for prisoners is EXTREMELY high, and the pressure of the real world can be incredibly overwhelming.
Forget for a second that it is Lee we are talking about. Picture a man walking out of prison, and he wants VERY BADLY to stay out of prison, and also make up to his family for his crime, and for being gone. He wants to provide for his wife and child, spend time with them, work to provide a better home, build up his family life, strengthen his social ties, etc. There are TOO many pressures. They really have to ease back into bearing the FULL weight of responsibility, and a small child is a very big one.
Keeping him from James, while painful and hurtful, is giving Lee time to focus on finding a job and perfecting his skills there, and allowing him to fully focus on his “provider skills” is CRUCIAL at this point. Not being able to see James can be horribly painful to Lee (as well as James), but it is also serving as a huge incentive for Lee to stay on the “straight and narrow.”
Obviously, James does not need to know that the state may see him as a distraction or burden to Lee, but if James could hear from you that the state wants his Daddy to be whole/complete from getting over prison before he sees James again, then perhaps that would help James see that the state AND his Daddy care about him. I don’t know if this is making sense, or helping – I want so much for them to be able to see each other, but I also think that they are following some standards or procedures that they have not (and won’t) explain to you.
Also, you already know, but to this probation officer, Lee is just another ex-prisoner that is fresh out of prison. He can tell her all day that he is different from the other men, but that is what ALL of them say. They ALL claim to have found Jesus, to have a family, have a desire to stay out, a need to be able to support their families, etc. Probation officers are lied to probably more than 50% of the time, and they become very jaded.
I am convinced that you, Lee, and James are going to (and have already) touched the life of every official that you come into contact with. They will see how you live, how you react to their rules, how you respond to them, how you interact with each other, and they will be influenced for Christ’s kingdom. If I can alter Mordecai’s words a bit, but who knows if you have come to lowly position for such a time as this?
These people need to see you in their lives. They need to see Lee succeed. They need to see James joyfully reunited with his daddy. They need hope. God has charged your family with a great service, and though it is painful, you know that you always come through a fire stronger than when you went into it.
I’ve said enough. May God grant each of you peace tonight, and joy in the coming days. He has heard your prayers.
Thank you for sharing this. You have provided some insight. I already know some things you mentioned. I know the parole officer is just doing her job. I know that most of her parolees are liars and sneaks. I know that she looks at Lee the way she looks at all the others. I know that I really do.
Knowing that in the back of my head helps some, but it still hurts to see my baby cry. It hurts to not be able to be a family and feel like parts of us are missing. It hurts to not know how long they want us to do this.
Thank you for praying for us.
July 16th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Dear Lizzie,
I love what you said about God must be about to do something huge. I try to remember that when it seems the darkest. I cannot even imagine your situation, but I will pray for y’all. I think of you many times and am so thankful for you.
Janet
Janet, thank you so much for your encouraging words. We are so thankful for those who pray for us.