What hurt you?
by adustyframe ~ August 11th, 2008I answered a question, I received in my inbox awhile ago in this post.
I neglected to answer the “What things hurt you?” part because I wasn’t sure how to go about it.
I could list here a myriad of things people have done to me that hurt. I have blogged about a few of them, but the hurts I’ve collected through this trial would take me a long time to blog about.
I haven’t blogged about many of them because that’s not the focus of my blog. When I first started reading blogs, I found one that seemed to be Charlotte Mason based, but it continually ranted about everything the woman hated about her church, her husband, her family. I couldn’t keep reading it. It was toxic.
I do not ever want A Dusty Frame to sound like that.
Another reason for not blogging about everything that hurt me is the danger and tendency for that to lead to bitterness.
Bitterness=harbored hurt.
Hebrews 12:15 says
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;
I think that when we have hurts, there is also the temptation to present oneself in the best light. There have been really bad things that have happened to me and rude, thoughtless things said to me. I could blog about them and because you all (for some reason!) love me, you’d be outraged. You’d be angry with me against those who have been thoughtless and rude or outright evil and unkind.
BUT! you would only know exactly what I wanted you to know and in those types of stories it’s so easy to leave out a sarcastic comment I may have made or background on a situation.
So for the most part, I haven’t touched them with a ten foot pole. I have tried to bring those to the Lord.
Another rule I learned in Bible college is that you should only talk to the person who is part of the problem, or part of the solution. So I have on occasion, sought Godly counsel about situations and hurts.
So, I’m going to be general.
The things that hurt the most
*Christians not behaving like Christians
*Promises not kept
*Assumptions and gossip
* Not being included when families gather
And I’m going to stop simply because thinking about these things renews the hurt feelings and that’s not where I wanted to go!
If you know someone in a hard situation think about what I’ve shared that hurt the most. Think about your words, actions, and invitations, and see if you need to do things differently.
August 11th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Lizzie, thanks for this:
Another reason for not blogging about everything that hurt me is the danger and tendency for that to lead to bitterness.
Bitterness=harbored hurt.
It’s a good reminder. A mutual friend of our and I were talking yesterday, and we both realized how our tongues can get ahead of us in the types of situations you described. Not only can it lead to bitterness, but it can lead to our giving a bad witness in front of non-Christians (us not living up to our calling as laid out in Ephesians).
This whole hurt=> bitterness cycle is probably the biggest thing I struggle with as a Christian, and it affects everything else I think or try to do for Christ. It is (for example) so much easier to write a check to a charity than it is to forgive someone who has deliberately and repeatedly wronged us, and is totally unrepentant.
Just this morning, before I read this post, I was “discussing” this whole problem of mine, and how it affects my relationship with Christ. (Your word “toxic” is very precise). He led me to Ephesians 4, most of which I’d already underlined in red on a PREVIOUS go-round with the Lord about this root of bitterness. We can’t overcome it on our own. We just can’t change our own self-protective nature. Only He can, in His strength. I just have to keep going right back to the Cross, thinking about all He endured and why. It helps to remember how Jesus treated Judas, the betrayer, (with impartial kindness) even knowing he’d be facing God’s wrath.
August 11th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Good words of wisdom here!
Thanks,
Alesha
August 19th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
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