Night

by adustyframe ~ November 30th, 2008

This weekend, my brother and his wife visited with us. We always love having them visit.
James enjoys some guy time with his uncle and I get some adult company which is always welcome.
They also watched James so I could spend some time with Lee.

Friday night, they went to bed and I was still up working on the computer.
I heard them talking and whispering and I missed my husband so much.
We used to giggle and whisper far into the night. I miss going to bed and having my husband there.
When I went to bed, I was near tears. I told God that I just want my husband to be home and that I want to be able to talk with him while we fall asleep. I just want this to be over!
Whispering at night is just a little thing but I miss it so much.

I’m so glad that he and I are able to visit sometimes and that I can spend time with him. But it mostly feels like we’re dating and not married. It has been 4 years since we have lived together.
It feels like a lifetime. I almost don’t know if I’ll remember what it’s like to have my husband in the house.

Lee’s parole officer said that the therapist didn’t mean Lee could move home when he said, “I’ll advocate for you to move home.”
So we’re back to square one I guess. Waiting, waiting, and waiting.

Thank you for your prayers! Each one of you is a great encouragement to us.

I just can’t wait until I get to whisper with my husband at night.

Lizzie

13 Thoughts Shared to Night

  1. Prairie Rose

    I’ve tried to just keep my mouth shut when I read these posts, because I want to say something positive and uplifting, and don’t have anything positive to say. “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”, right?

    But this time I’m saying something. I am SO frustrated on your behalf and just do NOT understand what the problem is. I can’t tell you how many parents of kids that I work with are in and out of jail all the time, for various infractions of various degrees, and I have never EVER seen such an ordeal as what you all are having to go through.

    I have no idea what Lee did to end up in this situation in the first place, of course, but from all you’ve said, it seems awfully unlikely that it was deserving of punishment this severe, and of this length. I have known people in jail for murder that didn’t have to spend this long, and once they were out, they were OUT, that is the REALLY frustrating thing I think is that he’s out, and yet the restrictions placed on him are still so prohibitive that you can’t move on with your lies. These other parents get out, and they’re out! They’re back home, with their families, with their KIDS. The fact that Lee and James aren’t even permitted to spend time together is the most appalling thing I’ve ever heard of, and I just can’t think of any logical reason for anyone to use to keep them apart like this, unless they for some reason felt James was endangered, which you’ve already said in the past is not the issue.

    I know there must be some reason for all of this, some magnificent plan that God has, and maybe someday it will all make perfect sense, but right now, well, it just doesn’t, and it stinks, and a little boy is growing up without his daddy and the whole thing is just so unnecessary!

    I know God is okay with us asking him why, as long as we’re submissive to Him whether He answers us or not, so that’s what I’m asking tonight. WHY? Why has this dragged on and on and on? Why don’t You bring it to an end? Why don’t You restore this family, wholly and completely?

    Why?

    You see now why I’ve just forced myself to keep silent so long, because look what happens when I don’t. 😉 Feel free to delete if this is too negative. The only positive thing I can think of to say here is that I know God’s hand is on this whole thing somehow, as hard as it is to see it, and I pray that you’ll feel His presence in an incredible way, and James and Lee too, as He sees you through this ever-so-lengthy trial.

  2. Prairie Rose

    How about, move on with your LIVES, not your lies? Silly typo. 😉

  3. Pam

    What in the world was meant ??? Thank the Lord you know and trust God…..know one else can imagine how frustrated you must be….I’m still praying Lizzie…..How often does Lee meet with this person? Can he request a review of any kind….or a waiver…or supervised visitation with James???

  4. Beth

    I don’t understand what the therapist means if he is going to advocate for Lee to move home, but it doesn’t mean coming home. It sounds like they are playing mind games. We hate that. Our prayers continue with you all. Many hugs & kisses.

  5. Pam

    Lizzie I just saw a story on CNN about
    parents (who were in prison) that were allowed to video tape messages to their children and the children would video messages back…..what do you think?? Would you be allowed to tape a message from Lee to James…I know he is no longer incarcerated…but would he be restricted from doing that?? Maybe James would have fun making a “movie” for daddy and getting one from him….just a thought.God Bless, Pam

  6. Samantha

    Have they ever given a REASON that Lee cannot see James? Will they allow you to give them some sort of research on how important it is for James to be with his father at this time in his life? Can you get a lawyer to advocate for you?

    Love Samantha

  7. TransitionGirl

    Doesn’t advocating for Lee to go home, is just that? I don’t get their logic…

    Will keep praying and trusting. The Lord DOES have a great plan for your family… just hard to see from our pov sometimes.

    Maybe the video idea that Pam gave will work?

  8. Tina

    I can only imagine how truly frustrating and sad this must be for you. I will pray for you; and offer cyber {{{hugs}}}

  9. Robin in New jersey

    I too am confused by his whole thing of them not letting him see James. All I can think is that there must be something that you can’t share with us and that’s OK.

    Praying that God will intervene and something wondeful will happen that could only be God’s doing, not mans.

  10. Katherine

    I like the video idea.

    I am scared to ask…did Lee’s offense involve James? Do you have a GAL? Maybe he/she could help push things along…

    I will pray for you that once he moves back in, you will be able to transition easily! It will be a challenge to hand over the reigns, LOL. (I was a single mom for seven years and still struggle with that, LOL!).

    God bless you all! 🙂

  11. Chel

    I don’t think the whispering at night is a little thing at all. In fact, I think that the snuggling right after the alarm goes off in the morning and the whispering right before falling asleep at night are some of the most important things in a relationship. It’s those little moments of intimacy that help forge together a life. I can fully understand why you would miss those moments so!

  12. Jenn

    I like Pam’s video idea. I wonder if they would give permission for that. As always, this issues is my prayers.

  13. kristie

    It’s been 4 years since he’s been allowed to be home or see your son, and his crime didn’t even involve your son, am I understanding this right?? I can’t believe it, I was hoping my husband might be able to finish counseling and come home by the summer…. I wish I could understand this system. It is so overwhelming and confusing.

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