Thoughts
by adustyframe ~ December 14th, 2008When I shared last week about Lee’s rule violation, I was nervous. I really didn’t want to tell you that. I had high hopes that he’d sail through probation.
As I shared last week, I know that does not mean that all is lost.
I’m aware of other people who have violated the exact same rule that Lee did and received a weekend in jail. So when I said it wasn’t “huge” I meant that usually the consequences are much smaller than Lee’s have been.
I was also writing fairly late in the evening and perhaps my words and thoughts weren’t as clear as they could have been.
One commenter was frustrated and said some things that I felt I truly had to respond to.
I gave her the opportunity to say it because I rarely censor the comments and only do so if I feel it to be necessary. I can think of one time so far that I’ve done this.
I also know that many people who “lurk” or even faithful readers may have had the same thoughts.
I chose to respond though because simply put, those of you reading this do not have all the information and you do not have a complete picture of the situation.
You only know what I have chosen to share with you and because of that it may seem that things don’t make sense or that I’m not quite “all there” when I make decisions.
Some of you let me know your thoughts on the comments and I appreciate your support but I also wanted to say that she is free to her own opinions and I don’t want you to be too hard on her. I also don’t want her to feel that she should not comment again. (Please don’t feel that way if you’re reading, Kim.)
Recently, I was in Kim’s shoes in a way. I heard about a situation involving people I knew long ago.
Things were said that were very difficult to hear and people I love and respect were represented in a way that I did not believe could possibly be true.
I reacted in a negative way and when I was asked about it by others who had heard the same thing, I told my opinion. But I was reminded that I do not have all the information.
I thought about my reaction to this information. I still highly respect and love the people who were being spoken about, but I had to realize that it’s very true that I do not know everything.
I came to the place where I prayed for all the people involved and decided that the truth wasn’t my truth to figure out. It’s God’s truth and God knows. God will have to sort it out and deal with whomever needs dealing with.
I think that’s good advice for all of us. Whether it be me and the story I heard, or you and my story–or anyone other story.
If you don’t know all the information, just pray for God’s will to be done. Pray for those involved. Pray about what God would have you do.
In my case and the story I heard, when I prayed about it, God reminded me that I don’t know what I don’t know and to leave it to him to sort out.
He’s so much better at taking care of things anyway isn’t he?
So that’s all! I just wanted to let you know I appreciate your kindness and support, and I don’t want Kim to think she can’t comment again!
Happy week before Christmas!
December 14th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
Lizzie,
I am here to support you and encourage you. Life is hard for all of us, and I think it’s even harder for you – and I am blessed to see how you are handling your situation.
I don’t know much about what you’re talking here but I am praying for wisdom and peace and discernment for you at this time.
with love,
Liza
Liza, I so appreciate yours (and everyone’s) support, prayers, and encouragement. It has been a massive blessing in my life!
December 14th, 2008 at 11:03 pm
we rarely do have all the information. very rarely. it is even difficult to keep my very closest friends continuously up-to-date, and they know more than anyone.
even more difficult than that is realizing the same about another, and accepting it, and letting go. it’s not ours; it’s theirs. and that has been an extremely difficult truth for me to learn, the hard way of course, in my life.
even if you did share “all the details” with us, we would still be missing a lot. there is so much that simply cannot be conveyed through written word. going through an experience is so powerful that the whole of such simply cannot be conveyed to another with complete accuracy and in a way that they would be able to experience.
you’re doin good, Lizzie.
Thank you, Ame.
December 15th, 2008 at 12:02 am
Hi Lizzie,
I’m glad that the Lord is keeping you strong through this, even through some not so helpful comments. Just goes to show that when we don’t know the whole picture, we shouldn’t judge. Actually, we shouldn’t judge others any other time.
I’m glad that you have the support of your church and family and other friends, those who DO know the whole picture.
And I’m glad that Lee recognised his fault and is willing to take the consequences. That just shows how far he’s changed and how the Lord is building him into a man of integrity. My dad always tells me that only through hardship and paying the price for our mistakes can we learn wisdom and truly see how great our God is.
Thank you. I like your Dad’s wisdom.
December 15th, 2008 at 7:05 am
Hi Lizzie -
I hope you know that the Kim that commented on Lee’s probation violation post was NOT me – I am thinking of you and praying for your family. Can you send me your email address again? I can’t find it on your blog page….
Hello:)
It is adustyframe@yahoo.com and it would be ok even if you were the other Kim:). But I can see your email addresses when you leave a comment;) so I knew you were a different Kim.
December 15th, 2008 at 7:38 am
We never can really know the “truth” about someone elses life. I think the true test of loving like the Lord loves us is praying for someone else inspite of knowing what we do know. Praying for you all Lizzie….the Lord knows your heart…He allowed you to be created….Jeremiah 29 11-14 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I WILL LISTEN to you. You seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord and will bring you back from captivity. God Bless
December 15th, 2008 at 8:48 am
That’s a good reminder, Lizzie, because so often we don’t have the whole story in any situation.
December 15th, 2008 at 10:39 am
I have been praying. It occurred to me that I have no idea what type “rules” Lee, or anyone else on probation, must live with. I know there are often geographical restrictions–which can be tough if you live on the county line for example. I assume, from what you’ve written, that he must report for work, stay away from James, and “check in” at his appointed times with his officer. What else is there? Just curious.
Lots of stuff and they can change at a moment’s notice.
No police contact–no speeding tickets, etc
No drinking
No drugs
No associating with felons
It goes on;)
December 15th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
The bible tells us “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
So we should only be saying things that are helpful to build Lizzie, Lee, and james up, NOT anything else.
God bless you for honoring your marriage vows, Lizzie and standing by your dh through better or worse, richer or poorer, til death you do part.
Love Samantha
Thank you, Samantha
December 15th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
I thought you might like to know why I read your blog. I check in about every week or so to “catch up” with you (or at least with what you choose to share with us!)…
I…
a) was raised by a fairly hard-nosed police officer
b) was married to a fairly hard-nosed police officer
c) work in the e.r. (which is honestly not conducive to sensitivity and kindness)
So, I read your blog to keep a little perspective in my life. I see a lot of “undesirables” every day and its easy to get really calloused and hardened to people, and to their individual lives. So your blog is a little dose of humanity and puts a face on a situation that often is easy to judge and mischaracterize from the outside.
Keep up the good work.
Thank you for letting me know that! Interesting:) Glad I can help ya;)
December 16th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I’m so glad that you wrote this post. I’ve been reading almost since the beginning of this blog, and I’ll admit that there have been times when the gossip in me wants to know more. We live in such a tabloid society, and even when we’re Christians and try to avoid such, there’s still an internal curiosity that begs to be satisfied. Through it all though, the Holy Spirit has reminded me time and again that it’s not important that I know every intricate detail of the story. (It’s been sanctifying for me!) What is important is that I have a sister in Christ who is striving to fix her eyes on Jesus in the midst of an excruciating trial. I have a brother in Christ that is wrestling against the flesh and trying to overcome the circumstances that his sin has brought him to, who is striving to be a better husband and father. And of course there is sweet James. My role is not to know or to judge; but to pray, to encourage, and to entrust you all to our faithful Father who does know every detail and can be trusted completely. It’s never harmful to pray that God’s will would be done. I continue to do so.
Hangeth thou in there, Lizzie,
Grace and Peace,
Angel
December 17th, 2008 at 1:38 am
I speak Kim’s language (tough love and living in reality), so I saw her comments in that vein. I do hope that others will follow your lead and stop targeting her negatively in their comments!
I think it’s a fine line that you are having to walk–you are a talented writer, and what you *have* shared endears you to us, but you also need your privacy with particular details.
I have occasional questions that, sometimes, I am brave enough to ask, but I mostly read, enjoy reading, and continue to pray for you and your family!
Hugs,
Kat
December 21st, 2008 at 11:40 pm
Lizzie, thanks for sharing with us here. I keep up with you pretty regularly too, praying as I do. Again, thanks for sharing.
In Christian love,
Carrie