Yesterday and today I’ve been REALLY struggling with worry.

I’ve been advertisting and speaking with people about piano, but so far, no students.

I’ve communicated with people about caring for their children in my home but so far, no children.

I’ve applied for jobs, but so far, no job.

The bank balance is lower than I’ve seen it in my memory–as in OH MY WORD low.

I was praying last night that God would just help me trust. If I’m advertising, selling online, applying for jobs, and things just aren’t happening, then perhaps I need to trust that God has something for me and it just may not look like what I thought it would.

I did finally hear from one job today and called him back, but we’re playing phone tag. Interestingly enough, he was one of my customers at the store. I didn’t know this until he left his message about my job application.

Then he recognized my name and on the message said, “Oh! Hi, Lizzie! A former business owner like yourself would be perfect for this job.” He also said it’s very flexible and should work around homeschooling. If that’s not a God thing I don’t know what is!

Hopefully when I get to speak with him something will work out.

Another thing I’m struggling with is that the jobs I’m finding don’t pay enough. For me to work and pay for care for James means that I will bring home very little. I dont’ see how it works to work so many hours for little pay and pay someone to watch my son and STILL not have enough money.

I also have physical limitations due to an injured neck. I can’t do heavy lifting at all. That knocks out many categories of jobs.

I am very qualified to work in a childcare center. I could most likely be in the administration of one but everything I see here pays less than it did 10 years ago when I quit working in childcare. That baffles me! I told my brother that I really cannot see working for so little money all day everyday caring for other people’s children and paying someone to care for mine. If they paid decently it might be a different story.

So that’s when I have to say, “Ok, God! You have a plan. Help me to just see the opportunities and keep looking and working towards a job and know that you will provide.”

I figured out on paper that if I made a certain amount each day, whether by online sales, or piano students, or giving plasma, or whatever, that we’d have enough.

So then my bold (or sinning self!) said, “Well, God, for January we’re already about $250 behind.”

Then tonight on Ebay I sold $160 worth of items! Bam–just like that.

My plan is to keep applying for jobs–keep advertising for child care and piano lessons– keep listing things to sell online–but most of all keep trusting that God has a plan.

I’m trying to balance God’s call on my life of homeschooling my son with the need to provide an income.

(Please don’t leave comments that I should put him in school. That is not happening and is no one’s decision but my husband’s and mine. Thank you.)

I know God has it under control, but once in awhile parts of me wonder why do I have to be tested in this area so much!? Apparently, I have much to learn.

Oh! and one more blessing. We needed kitty litter so I prayed that we’d have enough money to get it. I remembered I had a Sears gift card for $5 and guess what was on sale for $4.99! God cares even about the kitty litter!

I think I’m rambling here! I’ve shared mostly so you could see the blessings that God has sent my way today, but also that you’d know how to pray. I’m praying for a decent paying job to open up for me or for children to care for in my home.

I much prefer the children and piano students in my home, but I am willing to do whatever God opens up for me.

Thanks for your kind support and prayer! I truly appreciate each one of you more than I can express.

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