How am I doing?
by adustyframe ~ January 14th, 2009I’m not sure.
I was thinking about this the other day. I’m not sure that I could articulate to you or even to myself how I’m feeling.
I’m very tired–very! I haven’t felt well this week. I could be struggling with a bug or it could just be the stress of everything.
Someone told me that I must be so lonely. Well, I definitely miss being able to see my husband, but I’m not lonely. I have James and he keeps me busy and he’s very fun company!
I have friends and church activities to keep me occupied as well.
So, I’m not really lonely and I am tired.
What else? I’m doing a lot of “not thinking about it”. I’m sure there is a fancy psychological term for it and perhaps some would say that it’s not healthy! I just really can’t wallow right now. I have too much to do.
The job search is overwhelming. It reminds me of all the things I can’t do. If I could heft 75 lbs. there’s tons of jobs around here.
I did apply at the city for a job and I’m applying at a Christian school for their aftercare program. I keep looking and have applied at a few other jobs.
I had a new piano student on Monday–who just didn’t show up and hasn’t returned my calls. That was discouraging, but I said, “Ok Lord, I guess that means you have another plan for me and perhaps I should quit pushing for what I think should be done.”
I’ve had a few pangs over the last few weeks. I watched a video of a family playing outside laughing and having fun all together. I thought that by now we’d be taking family photos and playing together in the snow.
Today, I was listing on Ebay and as I edited photos, I ran across photos of Lee this summer. Major pang!
The photos of James remind me that he’s getting so big and so much of our lives has been spent in this weird limbo.
There are other things that have hurt once in awhile and I’m sure there will be many more, I just know that God is in control and he’s going to get us through this–somehow!
January 14th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
I hate job hunting.
I wish i could do more to help ya, maybe give u a nice fluffy pillow, some hot chocolate and a nice movie to watch. but i can still keep praying. and give James a nice book to read too.
How’s Lee?
You, my friend, have done plenty! Your prayers are awesome! Lee is doing better! Pastor visited with him last week which always helps!
January 14th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
these things in our lives … they make us jumpy … unable to really settle into life … skeptical. i don’t like that; i know you don’t, either. it really is hard. what seems like it should be so certain turns out to be another disappointment. i know it’s so discouraging sometimes, if not more often. life is just … so hard. the family pics and movies are about the worst, aren’t they.
January 14th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
You may want to visit this site
http://gleaningtheharvest.com/
praying for you
January 15th, 2009 at 2:46 am
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January 15th, 2009 at 4:26 am
Your: attitude-faith-posts are inspirational.
Always remember that YOU get to decide what YOU think about…thoughts may come into our minds but we DON’T have to give them a nesting place. You are a wonderful mom…a great roll model for James. I pray for you everyday. God Bless, Pam
January 15th, 2009 at 5:40 am
Uuggghhh! So frustrating when someone doesn’t show up for a scheduled interview for lessons – makes me wish there was a piano student “blacklist” somewhere so I didn’t waste my time. I’m so sorry!
I can’t begin to imagine how difficult those videos are to watch, but that time will be so precious to you and definitely not taken for granted when you all are together again. Praying for that to happen soon!
January 15th, 2009 at 5:47 am
hugs, Lizzie. Praying for you.
January 15th, 2009 at 8:57 am
As we were driving into town today B and I listened to “Hans Brinker.” I immediately thought of you and James and your economic situation when I heard this passage–I could just picture your little guy growing up to do the hard work like Hans:
“Dame Brinker earned a scant support for her family by raising vegetables, spinning, and knitting. Once she had worked on board
the barges plying up and down the canal and had occasionally been harnessed with other women to the towing rope of a pakschuyt
plying between Broek and Amsterdam. But when Hans had grown strong and large, he had insisted on doing all such drudgery in
her place.”
Hope this inspires you today!
Thanks;)!
Although I hope you’re not saying I should be towing barges;0! (just kidding!) People have survived for centuries on far less than we have and I know God will provide for our needs!
Thanks for thinking of us!
January 15th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
I’m praying for you tonight
Ps. 100
January 16th, 2009 at 12:09 am
Any word on how long he’ll be in?
I am praying that you find a job–and one that will support your homeschooling schedule!!
Hugs,
Kat
January 22nd, 2009 at 2:31 pm
[...] Last week, I updated you all on how I’m doing in this post. [...]