Last fall I was blessed to be able to attend a retreat. I mentioned the speaker briefly before. She has suffered tremendously painful trials. Her sweet spirit and incredibly Biblical teaching was both convicting and encouraging.

These are just my notes as she spoke. Her messages were full of wisdom. I probably missed a lot.

If you have time to look up the verses or meditate on her thoughts you will be blessed.

There is so much here for me to learn and to meditate on over and over.

Brokenness notes retreat 2005

Fri pm

Brokenness is a complete shattering of my will so that every response thought and action is fully surrendered to the Holy Spirit.

Problems and people that we view as problems are the shaping tools that God uses to conform us and show us our own problems.

Luke 14:25-33

Surrender–stop fighting and insisting on my own way. Surrender does not mean God zaps us. Taste and see that the Lord is GOOD.
When we serve Him, He gives us good things.

Suffering is a privilege–an honor. It allows us to walk deeply with God.

“Calvary’s love leaves no room for self pity”

How can I question the love of God? When I do I need to consider Calvary.

Prayer of Jehoshapat 2 Chronicles 20

2Chronicles 20:15 And he said, Hearken ye, all Judah and ye inhabitants of Jerusalem, and thou king Jehoshaphat,  Thus saith the LORD unto you, Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this  great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God’s.

Isaiah 40:26
Lift up your eyes on high, and behold who hath created these things, that bringeth out their host by number: he calleth them all by names by the greatness of his might, for that he is strong in power; not one faileth.

Infinite love allows pain.

Forgiveness is using other people’s offenses to me to minister to them Christ’s love.

God is sufficient

What is best? Any situation that requires me to cry out desperately for God.

Sat a.m.

Isaiah 57:15
For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.

Contrite means to be bruised, shattered, tamed and trained.

Brokenness is the shattering of my will so every thought and every response is submitted to the Holy Spirit.

Isaiah 66:2
For all those things hath mine hand made, and all those things have been, saith the LORD: but to this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my word.

At the end of Job’s story, when Job is demanding answers God appears to him and asks where Job was when God laid the foundations of the world.Job repented of his heart before any of his circumstances changed or before he even knew that they would change.

Brokenness is a helpless dependence on God.

Self dies hard. John 12:24

Life is not about me

“It is not possible for a man to be used greatly by God until He has bruised him deeply” AW Tozer.

Do I pray about everything?
Revival is not possible if my heart is not contrite.
A hallmark of brokenness is being able to say “not my will but Thine”

Matthew 5

1. Blessed when I realize my utter spiritual bankruptcy.
2. Blessed when I daily feel the pain of my sin.
**Unforgiveness is heinous to God. “You are never more like Jesus than when you forgive.“
3. Blessed when I am meek–meekness is power under control.
Paul and Bible saints rejoiced that they could suffer. We say “why me!?”

4. Blessed when I hunger and thirst after righteousness

God is a mercy shower. When we are hurting, He lays down next to us, holds us and cries with us.

When I am broken I will have a single focus on allowing God to use me for His glory.

5. Blessed are the peacemakers. Those who are witnessing and offering people peace with God.

1 Peter 2:21
Submit means to line up under God’s commands.

Obey every prompting of the Holy Spirit with no arguing, no justifying (But God!),

Characteristics of brokenness
1. I stop comparing my Christianity to others.
2. I have a deep sense of my own sin.
3. I have a deep love for the Father and desire to please only Him. When I grieve Him with my sin, I am in pain.
4. I have a deep love for others and am full of compassion.

5. I have a concern with what God knows me to be–not what others think of me.
6. I realize I do not deserve 1 ounce of God’s mercy.
7. I have a thankful forgiving heart.

Men don’t use broken things. We want new and shiny. If things are broken we try to fix them. But God only uses broken tools.

Sat pm
How do I know if it is God’s voice speaking to me?

God breaks us so He can bless us.

When God speaks to us it is a gentle, loving, specific message with a goal to restore us.

When satan speaks it is loud and harsh

“You are worthless”
“You failed”

2Corinthians 4:15 For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.
When we suffer, we might not trust God. We don’t trust God because we don’t know Him.
I must meditate on His word. Meditate is think on it until it changes me.

John 11 story of Lazarus death

When we suffer:
1. Whatever I’m going through take it directly to Jesus as Mary and Martha did. They said “Lazarus whom you love”

When we pray we can say  “Jesus–this person you love dearly needs peace” etc.

2. Understand what is pre-eminent to the Lord. That is that God be glorified.
In trials I need to ask
A. Do I want God’s best?
B. When I ask for counsel or advice–do I want Biblical or emotional counseling?              Do I want to know what God says? Or do I want someone to fix my problem and           make me feel better?
C. Do I want God to be glorified more than I want relief from my struggle?

3. Don’t question God’s love. Did God love His Son Jesus?  Did God spare His son from suffering?

4. Embrace God’s ways and timing. Some of God’s greatest mercies are His refusals to our requests.

5. Vs 21–pour out your heart. Don’t be afraid to be honest with God.

6. Vs 22-24 Trust God implicitly and express it verbally.

Vs 40–we miss God’s workings because we don’t believe.
Sometimes I don’t understand, but I will believe. The result is that I will see the glory of God.

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