Thinking out loud

by adustyframe ~ May 19th, 2009

I’ve mostly been ignoring these thoughts, but they’re still there.

May has been a little difficult for me. When I say difficult, I don’t mean lying in a heap sobbing my eyes out. I also don’t mean that I whine, groan, or give up.

I just mean difficult.

Last May was such a crazy happy wonderful time in our life. I wrote about that here.

Each day when I think of the date, I remember what we were doing last year.

“2 more days”

“1 more day”

“Today’s the day”

“Wow I can’t believe this”

Looking back, I think this year just flew by. It hardly seems possible that it’s already been a year. It hardly seems possible that all the things that have happend have truly gone on. It hardly seems possible that we’re no better off than we were a year ago. But it also hardly seems possible that we’re doing as well as we are.

Our house is in a bit better shape. Far fewer things need attention than they did last year. Lee really got a lot of fixing up done for me.

It’s been a year since my computer desk drawer fell out and slammed my poor toes–thank you, dear!

It’s also been about that long since the silverware drawer fell out of the cupboard–thank you again, dear!

A year seems so long when we look ahead, but looking back it’s such a fast blur.

So many good things have happened this past year. Some of course not so good.

I try to focus on the positive as much as possible. I have to because there’s so much bad that if I focus there, I’ll give in.

We’ve lived in this odd limbo for so long that it’s almost starting to feel normal. I wonder how it will feel whenever we get to put this behind us. I can’t imagine.

Lee had a birthday last week–another prison birthday. At church, Pastor reminded people to send him a card as he “celebrates his birthday.”

James leaned over to me and said, “Well he won’t be celebrating!” We celebrated for him. We had cake and ice cream and we sang happy birthday.

This life we live isn’t ideal. It isn’t fun and it isn’t easy. But it’s the life we have right now and I can truly say that in the hard times, God is so good.



6 Thoughts Shared to Thinking out loud

  1. Jen B

    I cannot imagine going day to day without my man around. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I mentioned before that my uncle was in prison. He was in for 9 months, then out for awhile, and now he’s back in. His wife has almost but abandonded him. As I pray for him, I am reminded to pray for you. God is good all the time and all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose (quoting the verse from memory, hope its right). I’ll be praying for you today.

    Thank you. It’s not fun that’s for sure. I never fault those who do leave because only they know the true story. Thank you for praying for us when you think of your uncle.

  2. Susanna

    Oh my- A year already- it certainly has flown by- although much of the time I guess it didn’t feel like it was moving very fast. Whatever the coming year may bring I pray that the hard times will pass quickly and the happy times (when they come) will last for a looooooooooooong time 🙂

    thank you:)

  3. Alesha

    praise the Lord that His mercies are new every MORNING! No matter how long our trial may last, there is still enough of GOD to meet every need.

    It is hard to live in limbo. Having a special needs child is a little like that for me. My son’s birthday is today and that is always hard. So many reminders of how different he is from a “normal” 9 year old; and wondering just how many more birthdays he will get to celebrate.

    But I choose to believe as you do – God is GOOD. Thank you for this post.


    Thank you for sharing, Alesha. ((hugs))

  4. Pam

    I just keep thinking what an awesome mom
    James has….he is going to grow up to be a wonderful young man….God Bless, Pam

    Thank you, Pam. That’s very encouraging. I pray he does grow up to be a godly man!

  5. theprincessofquitealot

    Has it been a year already? It has gone by quickly……..the more I think about it, the more I admire you for your faithfulness, your creativity, your thriftiness and many other things. XXXOOO

    quickly and then not so quickly. Thanks:)

  6. Jen

    Really?!? A year?? Oh wow… Lizzie, truly, I had no idea it had been that long again. *sigh* I don’t really know what to say 🙁 I have’nt commented much lately, I’m sorry. I do read every day though. Sometimes I think “all I want to do is put a smiley… but that’s just dumb, so I won’t”. I SHOULD HAVE. I will next time.


    That’s ok:) Just comment when you feel like it.

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