Watching
by adustyframe ~ June 3rd, 2009I’ve been watching women and seeing how they interact with their husbands in public.
It’s rather interesting! I’ve seen women demean their husband, yell at him, speak unkindly about him, order him about, shout at him, etc.
I wonder as I watch if they know what they’re doing? Do they know that they’re not helping their marriage in any way?
I wonder too how often I did those things without even thinking. I hope not too often, but I do know that I did speak unkindly or give orders before.
I dont’ want to be like that! I hope you don’t either.
Being away from Lee for sooooooo long has opened my eyes to so many things.
I can’t wait until he’s around more for me to practice speaking kindly and respectfully to him!
Will you consider the way you speak to your husband? Ask God to show you if you need to change anything and if he shows you something, get practicing!
Proverbs 10:32
The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable:
June 3rd, 2009 at 11:26 am
I struggled with disrespect (of my parents) in high school and by God’s grace began a habit of immediately apologizing for my speech that was sinful – disrespect, unkindness, gossip, etc. It is so hard to make yourself say “I was wrong” but it sure makes relationships better fast!
This is a good reminder!!
June 3rd, 2009 at 12:48 pm
This is interesting only because Lee made a choice AGAIN to break the law and keep himself away from his family. Was he respecting you and James with HIS actions? I am sorry, but it has to work both ways. He had his chance to be out of prison and work his way back into his family and he made a choice to break the rules. That does not sound to me like he is respecting you very much.
I am sorry… I read your blog all of the time and this one really got to me. There comes a point when HE has to respect you and your son. I know he says the right things, but he wasn’t even out a month until he was back in again. Come on… there is a time to wake up and figure out what is best for your child, if not yourself.
Actually, he was out for 7 months–not very long but far longer than “not even a month”.
I’m glad that you read my blog and that you feel comfortable enough to share your opinion. Please know that I don’t ask everyone to agree with me.
However, regardless of what my husband (or anyone’s husband) does or they way they behave, I am still called to behave Biblically. Belittling him or demeaning him, barking orders at him, and being pushy in front of others isn’t right no matter what he does or does not do.
Did Jesus use the way others treated him as an excuse to be unkind? No, he didn’t. If I use what Lee has done as an excuse to demean him and beat him down–especially in public which is what I was referring to–I am also wrong.
What is best for my child is something in the forefromt of my mind constantly. But it’s best decided by me with input from people who love me and know everything about both Lee and I, not by those who only know what I say here.
June 3rd, 2009 at 2:42 pm
it very common amongst my age group, 30s…even fashionable even to abase your husband….i used to play this game…and I STOPPED>……because i am lucky to have him in my life…blessed…
my mom used to refer to this as the tim allen syndrome or homer simpson syndrome, to humiliate and emasculate men in our current favorite passtime..if we depicted women in the way, it would not fly…but our “leaders” we can put down all we want..they are all oafs…
and the boys that are now men , many of them have fallen to these expectations…i am trying to raise my son, to be a good man…as you are doing with James..
June 3rd, 2009 at 3:22 pm
This is so timely for me, Lizzie, as I’ve just this week made a new commitment to respect my husband.
I’ve committed to the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge at http://www.reviveourhearts.com/challenge/
The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain
She does him good and evil
All the days of her life.
~Proverbs 31:11,12
You’re in my prayers, sister!
Laura
June 3rd, 2009 at 7:47 pm
I try to make my husband shine by my actions. Sometimes I fail, but when I do succeed it does wonders for our marriage!
June 4th, 2009 at 8:05 am
Ahhh, childhood memories came flooding back. I never understood why kids were mean to other kids. When I was very young if there was someone in school or the neighborhood that seemed alone, that was my mission…I was going to be their friend.
I remember in one of the many neighborhoods we lived in, we would all hang out at our house. Basketball, swimming pool, go cart..everyone got to play. There was a girl who would ride her bike up and sit far enough away that we couldn’t really make her out. I used to yell, “Hey You! You can come over too!” I could see her head drop and she’d ride away. Well one day when I spotted her, I told those kids at the house, I’ll be back I am going to get her to come over. I’ll ride my bike to her house and give her our phone number and say we want her here. All my “friends” said “You can’t she’s scary to look at.”
I ignored them. I kne that girl wanted to play with us and something was keeping her away. I hoped on my pretty blue Murray bike
and pedaled as hard as I could. I cuaght up with her. She wouldn’t look toward me. I talked to her anyway and told her my name and said she could come and play anytime. She pedaled to her house threw her bike on the lawn and ran inside. I felt terrible. I thought I had hurt her feelings.
Eventually, she looked at me with the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen. I said “Wow! Your eyes look like marbles, they are pretty!” She smiled. We started riding bikes together everyday. After many days of playing together, I finally asked her. How’d you get the scars? She told me and I said “Man, I bet that hurt! Let’s play Barbie’s.”
That night my mom got a phone call from my bicycle friend’s mother. I thought I was really in trouble. I was in tears by the time she hung up because she was on the phone with her too long.
Worse news… mom talked to dad before talking to me about it… Oh, I just knew I was getting a whipping!
They came and sat me down and said, “Do you have a new friend?” Yes. “Do you have fun with her?” Yes. “Is there anything wrong with her?” No, well…she can’t stand up and ride with no hands on the handlebars, but she’s getting better. They smiled and told me they loved me and that my friend’s mom had called to thank them because I was the only friend she had ever had.
I didn’t realize the impact that had on my life.
You see my “bicycle friend” was burned over 90% of her body and it was a miracle that she was alive. Her eyes shone thru little slits. She could still smile thru her eyes.
Thank you for sharing your William and allowing me to share my “Bicycle Friend”.
Being raised in a Christian home and sharing the Christian love blesses us all!
June 4th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
I was recently selected as the Spiritual Life VP for our women’s group at church. Basically, I prayerfully choose our bible studies and train our facilitators. The Lord has laid it on my heart to ensure we provide a bible study leading women to biblically nuture their marriage and uplift their husbands as the head of their household. I truly believe it is more important to work at build a strong foundation to weather the storms that WILL come – to build those foundations BEFORE those storms hit!
Pray for the women called by God for whatever reason to participate in this study, and the others we provide!
June 5th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Between your story about William and Christie Cottage’s story about her bicycle friend, I am so…choked up…right now! Wow.
July 7th, 2009 at 8:34 am
[...] Watching [...]