Why do you stay?
by adustyframe ~ July 1st, 2009I’ve been asked this question in various forms over these past years.
Sometimes it’s curiosity. Sometimes it’s accusing. Sometimes it’s in derision.
Why do I stay?
I’m not sure that I can exactly verbalize it, but I stay primarily because I know God wants me here.
In the past, I’ve looked for every reason to leave, but it boils down to the fact that when I pray God doesn’t give me freedom to leave.
I am in no way saying that it’s ever wrong to leave a marriage. I also cannot say that my marriage will never fail. But as for me, I know that I am where God put me.
Is staying in a diffcult marriage fun? Nope! It’s not easy either but long ago when I was praying and telling God everything I wanted to change in my marriage, a gentle voice spoke to my heart and simply said, “Perhaps this marriage isn’t all about you.”
WOW! It’s not about me.
The world’s wisdom tells us that if someone makes your life hard you leave. Someone told me “If someone ever hurts me I’m out of there.”
I don’t believe we should take our advice from the world.
I absolutely do NOT want you to think I’m saying that you have to stay in a dangerous situation. I also am not asking anyone who’s been divorced to justify to me their reason for leaving.
I’m simply saying that for ME at this time, I know that God wants me here.
So, I pray and trust and lean on my unchanging God knowing that he knows and he has a plan.
Quite awhile ago, I shared some of the things I’ve learned in this post–Honoring my Covenant. If you have been wondering why I stay, maybe that will help you understand me a bit better. 
July 1st, 2009 at 11:38 am
I am reading “Lies Women Believe” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. She has a whole chapter about marriage. By staying YOU are honoring your marriage covenant. You will be rewarded for your faithfulness.
Lies Women Believe is SOOOOO good!
July 1st, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Praise the Lord your following HIS leading! Thank you so much for your testimony….your walk with the Lord has been such an example to me.
Thanks;)
July 1st, 2009 at 1:26 pm
I stay primarily because I know God wants me here.
That’s the best reason of all, Lizzie. God is well pleased when you obey Him – especially when it’s so difficult. You are an example to me, and many others.
Thank you, Marie.
July 1st, 2009 at 1:37 pm
You are so right….if it is dangerous remove yourself physically…..Lizzie I believe you are listening to the Holy Spirit and honoring your marriage….only you can decide what to
do. I pray for all of you…God Bless, Pam, South Bend
Thank you, Pam!
July 1st, 2009 at 1:44 pm
An example to me, too!
I had a dear friend once tell me that her oldest children, who lived through the difficult years she and her husband had, thanked her for the example she was of a Godly woman who honored the vows she made. They indicated that her example has since strengthed their marriages.
Thanks for the encouragement:)!
July 1st, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Hi Lizzie,
I’m always a little afraid to leave comments on sites like yours – the ones that get hundreds of visits a day, but following you on Twitter has helped me get to know you as a person a little better, and I just want to let you know how much I like and admire you.
Convictions like the ones I read about in this post are amongst the reasons why.
I’m glad you’re staying…for now. I’ll be there if ever you decide it’s all over too…
At least now you’ll know my name!!
Jeanne
Hey!! I don’t get hundreds of visitors a day;) Don’t be afraid to comment, ever!
Actually one reason I signed up for Twitter was so my readers could get another glimpse of me:).
Thanks for leaving a comment. Don’t be a stranger.
July 2nd, 2009 at 4:47 am
I listened to a great teaching last night from Revive Our Hearts… Joni Eareckson Tada speaking on suffering. It’s at the ROH website (ReviveOurHearts.com), Look under “Past Programs” for “God’s Jewels.” I highly recommend it!!!!
Laura
July 2nd, 2009 at 5:18 am
Thank you for your post. It’s nice to know there is someone else out there who feels the same as me. My husband doesn’t want to be married any more, doesn’t even live with us. Sometimes it would be so much easier to just walk away but just as you said the Lord hasn’t released me from my marriage. There are some days that that makes me so angry. There are many people who look at my situation and wonder what I am doing, they would wonder that even more so if they knew everything that is going on. But all that matters is what God thinks and not the world. But sometimes that is such a tough battle so it was nice to read there is someone else like me.
((hugs)) I’m sorry:(
July 2nd, 2009 at 5:47 am
you love him, it feels right to stay, you and him are both growing in this relationship…you are both still trying…that’s all the reasons you need, God hasnt steared you wrong yet…
No, he definitely hasn’t!
July 2nd, 2009 at 11:12 am
Unless there is physical or emotional violence or sexual abuse of a child, I agree with you. [NOTE: I am divorced, but not remarried.] Only you and your husband have an opinion on your marriage. Anyone else saying they do is gossiping. Praying for you and Lee.
Yes, the things you point out are unsafe and are definite reasons to leave.
Thank you for praying.
July 2nd, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Obedience is better than sacrifice.
Thats the theme of my life. Keep obeyin His Voice. He’s got it all under controlled.
I like that theme. God abundantly blesses when we obey. It’s so worth it.
July 7th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Great post Lizzie~
I am so blessed, and I know you are too, by all the love and support you get from your online friends.
May you all be blessed for the love and encouragement you give.
Stay, Lizzie. God has a plan. Just because we make detours doesn’t mean his plan is nullified. You stay in His plan, and walk in His ways.
((HUGS)) to you sister~
Thank you!