Questions convict the conscience

by adustyframe ~ October 16th, 2009

At one point, I heard this statement which I wrote down.

“Questions convict the conscience. Accusations harden the will.”

I thought about this the other day when my  husband asked me a question.

While preparing to leave for my Grandma’s funeral, I wrote a list for Lee.

I was going over it showing him the things I needed him to do. I had written down phone numbers, when to feed the cats, where stuff was for projects he was working on, etc.

He smiled at me very pleasantly and said, “Are you talking to your husband or to your child?”

Phew! That question made me stop in my tracks. I just looked at him and he repeated his question.

I apologized. I didn’t realize how I came across to him and he nicely told me.

I’m thankful that he didn’t harp on me or call me a nag. He didn’t say, “You always….”

He just asked me a question.

I’m asking God to help me be aware of the words and tone I use with my husband as well as my son.

**Did I do a poor job explaining this? I was the one nagging and being disrespectful to my husband! He was very polite and kind and didn’t demand I change my tone. He just asked me a question.

I got a comment that I’m not going to approve for a couple of reasons, but the basics are that he was disrespecting me and needs his teeth knocked in….


5 Thoughts Shared to Questions convict the conscience

  1. Lisa

    Most women would add “not that there’s anything wrong with that [speaking to your hubby like he was your child.”

  2. leftcoastonlooker

    we’ll how does God want us to speak to our husbands? if I’m not speaking the way I should (and i know that’s what I do), then I’m disrespecting him & I need to get it right.
    thanks for sharing

  3. katrina

    I’ve come to realize a lot lately that my tone of voice doesn’t always go along with who I’m talking to and what the topic is. My heart can be behind what I’m saying, but my tone is the opposite. I’m glad you only have one person whith whom you need to work on that with!

  4. Christy

    I like that: “Questions convict the conscience. Accusations harden the will.”

    My kids certainly respond better to “How do you think that made your sister feel?” instead of “You stop being so mean!”

    Accusations put a person on the defense, whereas gentle questions allow them the liberty of coming to a conclusion on their own.

    Along the same line, my mom has encouraged me as a parent to ask my children questions to get them thinking instead of dictating my own personal observations about a situation.

    Good food for thought!

    (BTW, I knew what you meant.)

  5. Carrie

    So glad the Lord enabled you to respond well to your husband’s kind question. I tend to be so defensive instead of humble. Thanks for sharing.

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