Tired

by adustyframe ~ October 22nd, 2009

I think tired best describes me right now.

Last week someone said something about it gets hard to endure when a trial goes on for days or weeks or even a year.

Right.

What about when it’s been 5 years? “Gets hard” doesn’t begin to cover  the bases.

I was talking to my mom the other day and whining a little bit. It feels like people forget. My mom said, “Well they do. They move onto the next thing and forget what you’re going through.”

I don’t ever want to be like that to anyone. I want to learn to remember and not “move on”. The trial isn’t over til it’s over right? Just because people move on, doesn’t mean that anything is better or changed for the people in the trial. For me, very little has changed in the past 5 years.

I could still use help with my child. I’m still homeschooling alone & parenting alone. I’m still in the midst of upheaval.

Personally, I’d prefer to be done with this but I’m not.

Sometimes I feel that we’re in a never ending circle of junk and it’s never going to be any different.

I know that God has a plan and that he is always good. We’ve been so blessed in so many ways.

I truly know that even when I feel a little down.

This week is one of those “Oh man” weeks.

Lee’s car quit running. It can be 4-6 different things according to the diagnostic test at the car place. His friend lent him a car until Saturday.

He continues to apply for multiple jobs a day and I apply for jobs online through different websites. Nothing.

He hasn’t heard from the Christian company yet. He only left an application–it wasn’t an interview.

I feel everything piling up and am rather stressed. Lee is happy as a clam and said to me, “Can worry change anything?”

Hey! Quit reminding me to trust God when I’m trying to have a pity party! (hee hee)

He’s confident a job is just around the corner.

I’m looking at all the bills thinking “what are we going to do?”

Thankfully, I sold several items on Etsy and Ebay the past couple of weeks. I hope to start getting paid soon from my part time choir job–they haven’t finalized my contract yet.

So there’s really lots of good and I know it. Still I’m tired and wondering why things don’t change and wondering when life will be better.

I’m tired of going to bed alone.

I’m tired of parenting alone.

I’m tired of bills.

I’m tired of doing everything.

I’m tired of so many things but I’m going to quit at the risk of sounding like a huge whiner.

Yesterday, as I prayed and told God that I don’t understand and that I don’t know why things don’t get better, so many verses flooded my mind.

Be anxious for nothing…

Casting all your care upon him for he cares for you…

My God shall supply all your need…

Trust in the Lord with all your heart…

God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think…

I know these things are true. My friend told me that God seems to be working at the edge of the cliff. It definitely feels like the edge!

I can’t wait to see how God works. In the meanwhile thank you for praying for us.

I need to trust and rest!

Psalm 61:2 From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

lizzie2-2

**It’s not only finances that stress me out right now! It’s everything and hopefully I don’t sound more whiney than I am!**

Lizzie

9 Thoughts Shared to Tired

  1. Jen B

    “Peace is not the subtraction of problems. Peace is the addition of God’s power to deal with the situation” (Adrian Rogers)

    I’ve come to realize that sometimes peace is easier than patience.

  2. The NON-Superwoman

    I haven’t moved on and I haven’t forgotten you. You are always in my prayers and thoughts.

    Thank you!

  3. Jen

    I think the word you are looking for is “weary”

    Praying for you, dear.

    You’re right weary is the word.

  4. Beth

    Love you have not stopped loving you. Will continue praying for more encouraging days a head. Will start praying that the wearyness will soon be lifted.
    A friend of my husband and I, Rose used to tell me “You can visit pity city , but don’t park there.” I have never known you to park there.
    HUGS
    Love the pity city quote!!;) If you ever see me parking there you have permission to kick me;0!

  5. Barbara H.

    Love that pity quote, too!

    I think that’s one of the trials of trials — the ongoingness of them. I was just thinking of Israel in the wilderness 40 years — living in a tent, no stable home, having to be ready to pick up and go at any moment. For 40 years! I can’t imagine.

    But you know how to and have been encouraging yourself in the Lord. He will see you through. “As thy days, so shall thy strength be. There is none like unto the God of Jeshurun, who rideth upon the heaven in thy help, and in his excellency on the sky” (Deuteronomy 33:25b-26).

  6. Jacque

    Praying for you, knowing Yehovah is leading you and keeping you still.
    Love to you!!

    I posted an excerpt of this on GTH, and you have a couple of comments: http://gleaningtheharvest.com/?p=1128

    HUGS

  7. EEEEMommy

    I haven’t forgotten either, even though it’s been ages since I stopped by or commented. I’m mindful now of the verses in the Bible about Leah and Rachel and Hannah, how “God remembered.” Praying that God would “remember”, lift the weariness from your soul, and grant the desires of your heart.

    Grace and Peace,
    Angel

    Thank you!

  8. Stephanie

    Lizzie,
    My prayers are with you and your family 🙂 I know and can relate to the feeling of being “tired”, “weary”, whatever it is called.

    Some days are better than others, but know that Yehovah loves you!! He will provide 🙂 I firmly believe that.

    Hugs!

  9. jodi

    I have found that it’s easier to remember when you’re going through a trial yourself. In my almost 3 years of the trial I’m going through, I think of you OFTEN, pray for you OFTEN, even have cried for you at times. I’ve found that others in trials (like you) are the ones that seem to really “get it” and remember and give of themselves when they “shouldn’t” because they are in a difficult situation too…I think it helps take our minds off our own situation sometimes.

    I personally have grown to LOVE the book of Job in the Bible. Sometimes, it seems like Job is the only one who understands. His trials were different, but the emotions were so much the same.

    Keep struggling through. If I lived anywhere near you, I’d soooo be there to help! Please let me know if there is anything I *can* do (besides pray).

    It’s so hard when people seem to forget the struggle that is still so very real.

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