by adustyframe ~ May 27th, 2010

Lately, I’ve been feeling very apathetic. I don’t know if that is exactly the word to describe it but it’s close.

It’s not that I don’t really care, but I don’t care enough to care…. that sounds funny doesn’t it?

I’m actually getting past it a little right now.

I just don’t feel like being uptight about all the things that need to be done. I don’t feel like stressing out about expectations others have for me. I don’t feel like rushing around doing so much.

I don’t care that I don’t feel like doing those things either.

Maybe it’s not all good. I do need to care about things that are important. For example, it should bother me a little more often how dusty parts of my house are–or how dirty it is by the baseboards.

It’s should bother me when I don’t spend enough time with the Lord.

But I don’t know if it’s all bad if I’m learning to change my expectations and priorities. Some of that is good. It’s ok to not care what others think.

It’s ok to do what I know is God’s best for our home.

It’s ok if I let go of perfectionism.

I thought that I had let go of a lot of this in the past and I probably did. I guess I just had more to let go of than I realized. Another layer of perfectionism and stress about things I can’t change is on it’s way out of my life.

That’s why I’m not sure apathy is exactly the right word, but in a sense it feels that way.

(I’m not depressed 🙂 just thought I’d throw that out there….)


4 Thoughts Shared to Apathy

  1. Alesha

    I think sometimes those of us who live in constant “crisis” mode just get tired.

    I have a special needs son. It is never “normal” around here – ever! Most of the time, that is fine, we learn the new rhythm, and just keep plugging along. As you have.

    But some days, it’s just overwhelming. I’m not depressed. I’m not mad. I’m not bitter.

    I’m just tired.

    Maybe that’s where you have found yourself lately. It’s ok. You’ll get your second (third, seventeenth, fourtieth, whatever…) wind, and be ready to plunge again into the fray that is your life.

    Until then, I would suggest rest, lots of healthy foods, recreational reading and entertainment, and plenty of vitamins and good water.

    Hope that helps, :o)

    Thank you:) ((hugs)) to you too!

  2. Barbara H.

    How funny that I just wrote about letting go of perfectionism, too, and a couple of people commented that they were dealing with that as well. Maybe the Lord’s helping a lot of us with that.

    I think this is probably one of the “loops” in the roller coaster of emotion you’ve been on for so long.

  3. Cindy

    So often, Lizzy, you reiterate what is on my heart. I’m feeling it too.

  4. Senkyoushi

    This is where I am too. I’ve pushed so hard, for so long, getting ready for furlough that I think I am just exhausted. I’m trying to get lots of rest and do some things I enjoy, like reading a good book!