Speaking of Stress (A Really Old Post I Never Posted)

by adustyframe ~ October 25th, 2010

I wrote this post nearly a year ago. I don’t know why I didn’t post it at the time, but I guess I didn’t feel like I should.

I just read this and felt like now was the time to share it. The situation is long past–I don’t even quite remember what it was! But it conveys some of the feelings I’ve dealt with and so here goes…

Yesterday, I spoke with Lee’s parole officer.

She told me that she didn’t think Lee was interested enough in going home and that maybe she would just put him in jail.

Now, I KNOW some are going to read this and think a couple things.

1. She’s making that up.

2. She’s leaving out some huge info.

3. He broke a rule and she’s not telling us.

However, that’s not the case. She said he seems too tired when he’s in her office and it’s like he doesn’t want to participate.

I don’t know how he seemed because I wasn’t there. I do know that he goes to work between 5:30 and 6:00 each day and he drives nearly an hour to work. So yes, he’s definitely tired at the end of the day.

I don’t know if he had a bad attitude with her. He may have even though he shouldn’t. But the thing that blows my mind is that she would threaten to put him in jail even if he didn’t break a rule.

After I spoke with her yesterday, I felt my old “prison stress” return immediately. I had a sore spot in the bottom of my neck and my insides felt horrible. I had to take a nap because I was so tired.

I tried to pray and just cried. I told myself to quite behaving like it already happened, but it was difficult.

Lee went to see her yesterday afternoon and shared some things with her. Then I spoke with her again today and guess what?

She’s willing to work with him and change a few things around.

!!!

I’m sure that’s an answer to prayer and at the same time, I’m really not happy that she throws the “I’ll just put him in jail” out there in conversation.

The thing is she CAN put him in jail and so it’s not an empty threat.

What I wish I could convey to her is that we are real people and we have emotions. This situation has stressed us to the brink and I felt like asking if she’s just trying to push us over the edge?

What I wish I could convey to you and I don’t know how well I do it, is that it’s unpleasant to be pulled around and threatened by people in power.

Lizzie

3 Thoughts Shared to Speaking of Stress (A Really Old Post I Never Posted)

  1. Ame

    “is that it’s unpleasant to be pulled around and threatened by people in power.”

    yes … and i’m sooo weary of just that

    “situation has stressed us to the brink and I felt like asking if she’s just trying to push us over the edge?”

    there is one in my life who would be delighted to do this and tries very hard, relentlessly, to do so

  2. Barbara H.

    That is awful that she would make such a threat so casually. These things shouldn’t be at someone’s whim. Maybe she thought he needed a little motivation and might get it if she said something like that to you? I don’t agree with operating that way.

  3. Mrs. DV

    Do you ever hear anything of her now? Sometimes I’ve wondered what it would be like for you and Lee to run into her in public after this is all said and done and she has NO power what so ever. I honestly think this lady has some very serious heart issues, not to mention an enjoyment of power trips.

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