Trusting, Not Trusting? I Have Issues!

by adustyframe ~ April 19th, 2011

During my husband’s unemployment, I mentioned that I prayed I wouldn’t fall apart and panic about the lack of income like I did last time. That being only 5 months earlier!

I am SO thankful that the Lord helped me to trust. I thought about this the other day and thanked Him for helping me through. There were moments when I had to pray extra hard, but I didn’t return to the heart pounding headache inducing stress I gave myself last time.

Last night, I balanced the checkbook and discovered we squeaked through with a few bucks left over. Phew! Thank you, Lord!

I’m looking forward to getting a spending, saving, budget plan back in order again. When the income is lacking, we do the best we can but you can’t really plan and save and disperse funds when there are none!

So, that’s my trusting.

Then I realized the other day, that I’m not trusting God with the future. I feel like my worst nightmare would be for something else to happen. Anything.

I feel like pieces of my heart say, “Ok God, You put me through enough right? I’m done. Surely you won’t ask me to suffer any more trials right?”

I really have to guard against that thinking that because I will set myself up for bitterness.

That’s where I am. I trust and then I don’t trust. I guess that’s where we all are on this journey right?
Growing and changing my God’s grace each day.

Lizzie

6 Thoughts Shared to Trusting, Not Trusting? I Have Issues!

  1. melissa

    Thanks for this. My husband is self-employed and trusting is a huge issue for me. Times are hard, and we’re praying for the means to pay some bills this week, with no idea how that can be accomplished. Glad the Lord is in charge and not me, but I do have to mind that I avoid fretting and REALLY trust God. So hard.

  2. Lisa

    Oh, Lizzie, I completely understand this struggle. Four years after my husband left, the Lord has been SO faithful. My bills are paid and I have not gone into debt or had to work full-time. But lately when I can’t see where the money is coming from, I get so fearful. I just have to cry out to Him each month, and remind myself over and over of his miraculous provision for us all this time. And still I struggle.

  3. Janet

    I know how it is to feel that way. Thank God that He remembers we are dust.:)

    Lisa, I know that terrible fear. I’m a single mom, too. It’s just a chance for God to show off once again.:)

  4. Ame

    right?

    right.

  5. MamaHen

    Cling, clinging to Jesus. It really is the best place to be. Although it can be the hardest place to be.

  6. Robin in New Jersey

    My husband is now self-employed after working for a large company for 24 years. He had a company car, paid health insurance, 5 weeks paid vacation, an extra trip every year for us to go on, not to mention a great salary. We now live day to day just praying that the business will make enough money to pay the bills and keep a roof over our heads.

    Trusting is really hard. Most days I try not to think about any of it.

    Have you read Ann Voskamp’s book, One Thousand Gifts? She talks about trusting.

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