Some homeschool friends and I got together a few weeks ago. One mentioned a book she read about a woman who directed her funeral in her will. The woman wanted people from her past to spend time together and find out why she liked each one of them even though they didn’t know one another.
My friend said, “For example, Lizzie, I think you’d love my friend Kim. You remind me of her but I didn’t know you back then when I knew her.”
My immediate thought was, “If you only knew the things about my past (before you knew me) you wouldn’t like me.”
I almost always keep Lee’s incarceration quiet around people that I interact with in real life. At least people who aren’t my very personal extremely close friends. I don’t think everyone has to know.
But then once in awhile, I am tempted to blurt out, “My husband spent years in prison and nearly 7 years away from our home. Do you still like me?”
I guess it’s always a deep insecurity under the surface. I know that it doesn’t matter what people think about that part of our story, but I still want everyone to like me. Sometimes, if I’m honest, I wonder if some of my blog readers would like me if you knew me in real life!
I think what I need to do when faced with these insecurities, is to ask God to help me remember that pleasing Him is the only thing I need to worry about. He has accepted me and whether or not anyone else accepts me isn’t for me to worry about.
**I’m not begging for you to say you like me!! Just expounding on some thoughts.**