Did I Ever Tell You About The Time…

by adustyframe ~ November 27th, 2012

When the state sued Lee for child support?

I was receiving food stamps at the time so let me be clear that I understand why they sue dad’s for child support, but I don’t quite get why they wouldn’t listen to us.

After Lee’s incarceration, he had to live apart from us. If you’ve missed that part of the story, I can sum it up quickly. The parole officer admitted to me that she wanted him to have a rule that hurt and she knew that keeping him out of the house hurt. (It makes NO SENSE and there truly was no reason for it but that’s the explanation we got.)

So, while he was living apart from us, he worked even though the jobs or pay were usually not enough for us to support two households!

He gave me his checks and I paid the bills and we were doing the best we could do with what we had.

I received papers in the mail for Lee informing him that the state was suing him in my name for child support. We went to the hearing–together. We sat together during the hearing and tried to explain to them that we were married and that he gave me his paychecks.

But they weren’t having any of that “trust” stuff. (Ok I KNOW many dad’s are not trustworthy…) So, they garnished his wages for child support and here’s how that worked.

Instead of receiving his entire paycheck (which was not enough anyway), we received his garnished paycheck. Then I had to wait several days for the rest of the check to show up on my benefits card.

Lee had to pay a semi-annual fee to the state for being forced to pay child support–which means less of our money went to us. I also had to pay a fee yearly for receiving my child support benefits–which means less of our money went to us!

So, did you follow all that? We had to pay the state to take Lee’s money to give it back to me when he was giving it to me in the first place.

AHHHH gotta love government efficiency!

As soon as he moved home, we were able to stop the child support payments. All’s well that ends well, I guess!

Lizzie

9 Thoughts Shared to Did I Ever Tell You About The Time…

  1. Jody

    Oh yes, sounds about right.

    When my former husband left we divorced and came to an agreement on support. Good enough. He then voluntarily took a pay cut. For some reason or another he stopped paying support. I asked to have his wages garnished. Good enough. But the amount of the garnishment, monthly, is about $300 less than I am supposed to be receiving in support monthly because there’s a law that says only a certain %age of income can be deducted from a paycheck. So he owes me the shortage from each month (plus a couple thousand more in arrears), but isn’t required to pay it now because of the cap. Now, because his pay cut was voluntary he can’t request a decrease in support … but what’s the difference, really?

    Gotta laugh about it. 🙂

  2. Barbara H.

    Wow, I didn’t know all of that was involved. And how dumb of them to do all of that in your name when you didn’t ask them to and in fact wanted them not to. I guess they figure that abused wives would not stand up for themselves and need them to step in, but it seems they could have seen that was not the case.

    It’s too bad you don’t have legal recourse against that parole officer but I guess that might not be the best way to handle that situation anyway.

    Some friends of my kids, a young married couple, are going through a situation right now where the mother of one of them has been abused and left her husband and is in kind of a holding pattern right now. I’m sure there is grief and confusion and a number of other things involved. My husband and I think she should go after her husband for child support at least, (she has two children with her), if not charges dealing with abuse but have no idea how that process works. I’d guess she needs to talk to a social worker.

  3. Barbara H.

    What was the name of that organization that helps widows that also helped you out for a while? It just occurred to me that might be something to check into for the situation I mentioned.

    Barbara, it is called Gleaning The Harvest and it was an AMAZING blessing to me. It seems to be pretty defunct right now but I’m not sure…

  4. Janet

    That’s just crazy!

  5. Ame

    that’s just insane. and people want us to trust the gov more? no!

  6. Becka

    I’m so sorry that this happened to you. It’s a shame that people can be so cruel and that the state could not see the harm that was being done. Thank you for your sweet attitude through all of this mistreatment.

  7. Robin in New Jersey

    Nothing surprises me anymore, Lizzie!

  8. Eunice pitman

    Life has been busy , has been awhile since I checked in on your blog! Oh yes, don’t get me started on child support & all that ! I rarely got anything, he tried working for cash a lot of times, or they couldn’t find him,duh, I would give them an address, they would do nothing ! One time he even used one of my son’s social security number to avoid garnished wages. I went through great lengths to gather all the info & proof, they still did nothing! Those are only a few examples, I do not put any faith or trust in any of the system, I also wrote letters to the gov, senator, ect of my state, they did nothing also ! Long story short, my faith & trust in God is the only thing that got me through it all, and each one of my children have grown to be responsible & are blessed ! It is grievous , how there whole system works !

  9. christie

    I understand the part about the govt not believing that you “trust each other”. they must see a lot of battered women that are in similar situations. How do they know that your are REALLY there on your own free will ? Perhaps they are jaded.
    ~ C

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