I shared earlier how some people used the fact that I “only had one” to hurt or belittle me. In a comment, someone said that maybe they didn’t intend to hurt me.
I have to be very honest with you. I’m often called Pollyanna because I always look at the other side and always try to understand the viewpoint of others. I did speak to the people saying this to me and let them know that it hurt me because I wanted more children. The comments continued. THAT is why it was a hurt–it wasn’t at first but after letting them know my heart and then still hearing it often? Yeah…
However, there ARE blessings to having a small family. I’m sure that there are pros and cons of any family size right?
Here’s a question I have though. If as Christians, we believe that God determines family size, (and we do?) then why would any of us make comments about the family size of another family. Small or large?
I believe that if God chose to only ever give us James, it’s perfectly acceptable to embrace the blessings that come with one. It’s acceptable to enjoy the ability to do more things and to go places we could never go if we had many children.
While it always was a struggle in my heart and mind, I prayed constantly for God to help me be content with”only one”. If that’s the plan He had for us, I didn’t want to fight against Him and constantly argue with Him. (I did for awhile and that’s a post for another day.)
When Lee was incarcerated, we tried to enjoy our life in the ways that we could. I tried to keep life as “normal” for James as I could. We counted blessings even then. I often said that if I had chosen to always stay in bed and wallow in our misery–and believe me there was plenty of misery–we would have wasted so many years.
I feel the same way about “only having one”. Yes it hurt. Yes I always prayed for more. Yes I would have happily had a houseful. But at the same time there are good things about “only having one”.
*The ability to do fun things that have admission prices.
*Smaller grocery bills.
*One on on time is ALL the time.
*A little easier to single parent. ”Easier” is a relative term–nothing about single parenting is easy.
Another HUGE blessing I always realized is that I did have a child. I know many people who cannot have children, and would love to have “only one”. I never discounted how “only having one” was a wonderful blessing that many people would love to experience.
I asked some other moms of onlies what blessings they think parenting an only brings.
Here are their answers:
Marcy shares how homeschooling an only rocks. She also mentions–more opportunities (easier to afford lessons), easier to serve in the community, cheaper everything!
Debbie is rearing an only grandchild– she says she doesn’t miss the sibling rivalry!
Someone who’s not a mom of an only said, “Hey you don’t need extra hands to catch the child running away in the grocery store!”
So, if you have an only, what do you think? There are blessings aren’t there?
I’m thankful that God has enabled me to count those blessings even when others wanted me to feel badly about being a mom of an only child.