Waiting for Another Baby…

by adustyframe ~ February 18th, 2013

While Lee was “away”, it never bothered me that we didn’t have another child. You know–ummm that’s  a really good thing.

When he was released, I began to start chomping at the bit. I was getting older…nearing 40! And I felt that IT WAS TIME!

One time a long while ago when I was praying, I felt that God assured me that we’d have another child. But then I felt that maybe I was projecting my wishes onto what I felt God had told me and maybe I was making it all up.

I always knew that we were beyond blessed if all God gave us was one, and at the same time I wanted another child so badly.

Did you ever see Fireproof? The couple is struggling with not having children and she says, “How can I miss someone so badly that I don’t even know?” I knew exactly how she felt.

I wondered if I wanted a child so badly, didn’t that mean that our family was supposed to have another baby? But then, I prayed fervently for God to help me be content with what He had already given us.

I have to admit that as time passed, I struggled greatly with anger.  I know I was angry with Lee. He is the one who caused his absence from our home. He is the one that had the job that took him away from home ALL THE TIME!

I think the anger at him about whether or not we had a child was residual from all the other things we’ve dealt with.

I began getting rid of little kid things–especially homeschool materials. Some of it I sold because we needed the money for other things–a camping trip, or new homeschool material for James’ current year. Every time I sold something, there was anger in my heart. “I’m never going to need this again.”

There’s more to this story, but I think I’ll stop here for now. I’m laying the scene for something that happened this spring, which I’ll share later

 

 

Lizzie

5 Thoughts Shared to Waiting for Another Baby…

  1. Lisa

    God is working in your lives!!

  2. Chareen

    Thank you for sharing Lizzie. I know what you mean 🙂
    I had a miscarriage four years ago! wow where has the time gone and been waiting all this time for those two pink lines and now I’ve started passing on baby things and it’s hard. I cried for most of Facing the Giants and struggled when they got pregnant. These days I look at the things I still have for maybe one day and it grieves me. How could I be so fickle one min I long for another and the next I’m ‘content’ but I think that’s my heart trying to protect itself from this deep grief I feel.
    I struggle with the effect it’s had on Sir N who now says God does not listen to prayer….. I heard him pray faithfully for over two years every night for a sibling….
    I look forward to your continuing story.

  3. Janet

    Looking forward to reading the rest. Love your honesty that you always give us.:)

  4. Janean

    AAAAHHHHHHH…way to leave us hanging!!!
    I am backing you up in prayer, Lizzie. I struggled with infertility for four years before I got my oldest…then thought we would have a miscarriage for about half that pregnancy. I cried on mothers day because I never thought I would be a mom. And I cried out to God repeatedly to have mercy on us.

    It worked. I have four. 😀 God knew the right time.

  5. Misty

    I have been there! My heart ached for my third child for so long…my husband kept saying no! I had to give it to the Lord, and 2 years after when I wanted him, he arrived.

    On a different not, the movie you are referring too is Facing the Giants, not Fireproof. I loved both of those movies!

    Look forward to reading the next post.

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