It’s Not What I Thought It Would Be

by adustyframe ~ October 28th, 2014

My life doesn’t look like what I thought it would. Does yours?

35 years ago, I thought it would be  a fairy tale. I’d be the princess mommy and have lots of sweet little babies all around and everything would be pink and roses and cake all day!

15 years ago, Lee and I were newly (ish)  married and I was hoping I’d get to be a mommy! Things were pretty great. I thought we’d have a houseful of children.

10 years ago, almost to the day Lee checked into the jail. I thought about this the other day and realized it was 10 years. I’m still grappling with all we’ve been through and how it’s changed our lives. But now, I’m thinking about how 10 years went by in the blink of an eye and yet it was the longest years of my life that have completely changed me in good ways and bad ways.

5 years ago, Lee was still incarcerated and I felt like it was never going to be over. A year in prison or jail feels like 5 or more normal years. I knew that a houseful of children was never going to happen.

When Lee came home, I began to think about how my life would look now. I thought about writing the a curriculum that’s been floating around in the back of my mind for ages. I thought that perhaps I’d go back to college and get my master’s degree. I thought that I’d become more involved in ministries. I looked into jail ministry. I thought about a few other ministries that needed helpers.

At first , we needed time to heal. To be honest, there are still times that we just need time to heal. I didn’t jump into any of the things I was thinking about.

And God gave us baby Nathan. I’m so happy and thankful and I’m enjoying how precious and crazy he is. Life with a toddler in the house is crazy and funny to say the least.

Life isn’t what I thought it would be 35, 15, 10, 5, or even 3 years ago. I didn’t think I’d be in my 40’s with a new little guy. I thought I’d have several more children. I thought I’d be busy serving in ministries or doing things perhaps in “bigger” ways than I’m able to do now.

Life isn’t what I thought it would be but life is good.

A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps. Proverbs 16:9



3 Thoughts Shared to It’s Not What I Thought It Would Be

  1. Pam

    That was a powerful reflection…….thank you…….not where I thought I’d be either……..God gives……God takes away….blessed be the name of the Lord

  2. Janet

    Yes, healing is what I’m trying to do right now… You take all the time you need. 🙂

  3. Robin in New Jersey

    It’s amazing how one decision a person makes, can change your life in the blink of an eye. The Lord knows….

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