When I Compare

by adustyframe ~ May 9th, 2015

When I was reviewing the book I posted about earlier this week, I felt like it didn’t really apply to me.

I don’t go to Facebook and see people’s photos or updates and think, “Why can’t I be like that?”

I don’t look at projects people do and feel like my things aren’t up to par.

I don’t compare myself to thin moms because well……(anyway…)

I realized yesterday that I DO compare myself to myself!

I don’t get frustrated because I’m not doing what other people are doing or that I’m not the same kind of mom or wife that another woman is.

I get frustrated at myself when I’m not doing what I want to do or what I think I should be getting done. I get frustrated when I think about the things I did with James when he was little and the things I don’t get done with baby Nathan now.

I have to be honest that a little bit of self evaluation when I see others being successful at something or a little self evaluation when I think about things I’m not getting done or doing right can be a good thing.

I don’t think it’s wrong to think, “You know, I could meal plan better.” or “I really need to work on gentleness.” insert any other project, character trait, physical accomplishment, etc.

I think it’s good to aim to improve and have goals. This is usually how I look at other people. I either think, “Oh that’s so cool maybe I can try it.” or “Ummm ha! NO no no no no no way.”

I imagine the comparing myself to myself–“I’m not getting done what I want to do around here” has a name…..I don’t know what it is?

But the other day, I was beating myself up a little that I hadn’t made baby’s photo ABC album. He’s over one and rounding the corner to two and no ABC book. I pushed it to the side because I just don’t have a plan to work on it and figured I’d get it done sometime.

Baby found James’ ABC photo album and adopted it. He loves looking at it and saying, “Daddy” “Grandma” etc. I thought that maybe I’d just let him borrow James’ book and skip making him his own. Hey only 1/2 of our current family is missing from the photo album I made James when he was little but that’s just a small detail right!?

Imagine my surprise when I found a date written inside the ABC book. I didn’t make it for James when he was one I made it for James when he was THREE!

As much as it’s important to not compare ourselves to others, it’s important to not compare ourselves to ourselves. My memory played tricks on me in this situation and I’m sure it’s done that before.

Perhaps, I should concentrate on being the best me I can be today. The best me I can be with a husband on the road. The best mom I can be with a teenager and toddler. The best mom I can be with health challenges. The best mom I can be when I’m an imperfect human.

What about you? Who do you compare yourself to?




2 Thoughts Shared to When I Compare

  1. Pam

    Very very well said …….thanks AND Happy belated Mothers Day

  2. Barbara H.

    I have some regrets over things we did with the older two that we didn’t do with the youngest – he came along six years after my middle son, and some of the trips we took and such, he doesn’t remember even though he was there. Since we’ve had responsibility for my m-i-l, we’ve been fairly tied down. But then I think God has a purpose in that not just in our lives but in his as well. We can’t make everything just the same for all the kids, but hopefully they’ll each have their own special moments to remember.

    I’ve never understood Facebook envy, either – everyone has their troubles and no one’s home or family is perfect.

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