Many years ago, I wrote a post on here that I can’t seem to find right now. I said that the things we were going through felt like someone had aimed a gun at us and blasted us to pieces and we were all lying around bleeding.
You’ve probably read some of my posts where people say stupid things about prison or jail and read that I don’t like it when people do that. I went so far as to contact a blogger one time about her silly comment that she’d like to go to prison so she’d have time to rest. She didn’t reply and I blogged about that.
Well, recently, someone in our church lost family members to a horrific senseless random shooting. It was (and is) devastating.
Today, I saw her in church worshiping. Her hands were raised during one of the songs, and I was imagining how very deeply personal the words felt to her because of her situation.
Then I thought about that blog post I had written saying this felt like someone shot us. I doubt she will ever read my blog but I wanted to come home and blog about this.
I don’t know how it feels to be shot. She does. She was also shot and endured many days in the hospital.
I don’t know how it feels to see my loved ones bleeding to death. She does and I can’t even imagine.
When I said those things it really did feel that way to me. It was a word picture of sorts. But the truth is I do NOT know what it feels like to see my loved ones bleeding and I don’t know how it feels to have a shooter rip my life to shreds.
If I ever find that post, I will amend it.
I wish people who joke about jail would listen when someone who does know what it feels like. I wish they wouldn’t stubbornly hold onto their word picture or justify it because it felt right at the time.
Here’s what I hope is the difference in me….that when I realize I was wrong and that I have no clue how it feels or what it’s like that I stand up and say, “I was wrong. It’s nothing like that.” If she had ever read my blog and sent me a comment that I did not understand what it felt like to watch my family members bleed to death, I hope I’d never be the blogger who ignored her and stood by my story because that’s not the type of person I want to be.
I take it back. I don’t know what it feels like and I’m sorry that she knows. It breaks my heart every time I see her and I pray for the peace that only God can give her heart.
**If you want to know about their story, pm me. If I recognize your name, I’ll send you some links. It made national news at the time but I don’t want to share their names here.**