A Little Twinge

by adustyframe ~ October 5th, 2015

Once in awhile, when I hear of someone having another baby, I get a little twinge. Especially when it’s someone who JUST had a baby. Or someone who says, “I think we’ll have a baby next year” and they DO!

I’m not sure what it’s a twinge of. I’m not jealous. I know that’s not it.

I’m not coveting their baby. I know that’s not it.

I am not wishing I was younger. Ok well……

It’s not really regret because I did not choose to only have 2 children.

It’s not being unthankful because I am overwhelmed with gratitude that God chose to give us one baby and then another after so many years.

I think just once in awhile, it’s because my dream was to have a houseful of children.

It’s too late for that. That ship has sailed (and possibly sunk….).

I don’t actually WANT to birth another child. I’m still recovering from the effects of the last birth.

I think it’s just that my dream was to have lots of children. When I see how cool these 2 are, I wonder how cool other children would have been.

But, I’m not writing my story….God is. I didn’t make the choices that led to not having a husband around for so long (a pretty crucial part of the equation).

When I get that twinge, I still haven’t decided what it is I’m feeling. I will have to give it to God and let Him help me sort it out.

I know that I’m more than blessed with any children much less the two God gave me. I’m not crying that I only have 2 children or equating myself with someone who cannot have children.

I just once in awhile get that twinge.


3 Thoughts Shared to A Little Twinge

  1. Barbara H.

    I felt this to some degree in the years approaching menopause. We never had a set number of children in mind when we got married. We were pretty well settled with two when I found out I was expecting a third, and though that was a mental adjustment, I can’t imagine our family without him now, and he has brought us much joy. I had a friend who got pregnant unexpectedly pretty late in life, and though they were excited and I was happy for them, I dearly hoped God wouldn’t do that to me. 🙂 Yet there was still a twinge. I think that maybe having and raising children is such a big part of our lives, that it is sad when that chapter is closing. I haven’t felt that twinge in a long time, and I don’t know whether it is due to adjusting to an almost empty nest or now having a grandchild.

    🙂 glad I’m not alone—hopefully it’s a LOOOOOONG time til I have grandchildren 🙂 but yes I think because it’s such a large part of our life as women.

  2. DeeDee

    You’ve described that “twinge” well. I’ve struggled with it too. We’ve been blessed with three children, but like you, I always dreamed of many more. Each of our children have their own miracle birth story which testifies of God’s intervening protection and gift of life, and I’m truly thankful! I’ve had to adjust my thinking and focus on truth: God’s plan for my family is complete–perfectly complete. Any more or any less would not have been His fulfilled plan. When I rest in this truth instead of focusing on my plan, the “twinge” is silenced. It still comes up from time to time, but I’m finding contentment in loving on everyone else’s children in addition to my own.

    🙂 glad I’m not alone

  3. Lisa of Hopewell

    Thanks for stopping by. My reader stats spiked right after so I wondered if you posted a link here.

    Remember when you had only James? See how God blesses those who are patient. Your faithfulness during Lee’s time was rewarded with another son. So happy for you guys. In time it will be obvious that this is the perfect plan. I, too, wanted a houseful. I had to go out and find mine! lol…. Today I know they are mine and only mine and that’s as God intended. So nice to catch up on your blog–I’ll be back sooner rather than later next time!

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