How To Comfort Grieving People

by adustyframe ~ November 8th, 2015

The Lord God has given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary.

Isaiah 50:4

I started a Bible study titled Grace For Every Trial by Betty Henderson a few years ago. I notice that I haven’t finished it!

She shared some good thoughts that I want to share with you. As someone who endured a long term trial, I read many of these and said, “YES!”

1. Don’t be a sermonizer. When grief is freshest, words should be fewest. Share words from Scripture no your own thoughts or words.

2. A sacrifice of time and tears may be involved. Many trials may require comforters for many months. Your presence and assurance of prayers and encouraging words is needed.

3. Don’t quote Romans 8:28 to a hurting person. It’s not that it’s not a wonderful verse. It’s just that they’ve already thought of it. It’s not an aspirin that instantly heals everything.

4. To comfort another with God’s word, you have to know where to find the comfort. Know your Bible. Keep a list of verses that comfort you.

5. Little acts of kindness make a huge difference in the life of a hurting person.

6. Offer to take meals.

7. Offer to help with childcare.

8. Comfort the family members of the suffering person because they are hurting too. Does anyone wonder if Job’s wife could have had a different attitude if someone had encouraged her?

9. After the illness, death, crisis is past continue to let them know you’re praying for them and you’re there if they need you.

10. Remember the family during holidays.

11. Don’t stop praying for them.

One of the strangest things for me to learn to deal with was to see people just go about their lives as if nothing happened. I know people have to continue to live and I’m sure that I’ve appeared to do that to others around me who may be hurting so I do get it. But, I was stunned to look at the pieces around me and feel the pain deeply in my soul and wondered how people could just go on living as if nothing had happened.

Letting someone know you’re praying for them and that you remember that their life is in pieces goes a long way toward helping them hang on for a little bit longer.

A word spoken in due season, how good is it! Proverbs 15:23


2 Thoughts Shared to How To Comfort Grieving People

  1. Robin in New Jersey

    I was very thankful for the people who came along side me during a very difficult time. There did come a point though, when it appeared people assumed we were ok, and just went along as if nothing had happened. When if fact, I was not ok, and could have used encouragement. I learned that the Lord is always there, he will never leave us or forsake us.

  2. Pam

    We have been walking the road of grief for two years today with the widow of my husbands best friend of 42 years……he was only 62….he had a massive stroke while they were laying in bed together talking before getting up for work……..we have learned a lot ……according to her, words are not necessary…..just be there…..speak his name ……tell stories of favorite times together….don’t say “let me know what I can do”…. If you see a need FILL IT. For the first year I called and left her a message on her voice mail everyday……so when she came home to an empty house I greeted her……she said it comforted her……every week I made a few meals and left them in her frig…..I knew she was not cooking for herself……she is a nurse and was thankful she had a job that forced her to concentrate at work….but home was toooooo quiet…….so we took her with us to do things that we always did with them as a oouple……she said today her faith has never been stronger…..she has never felt closer to God……we met on her lunch hour today at a local university where her husband was a grounds keeper… a special quiet garden……she cried of course but said……thanks for always being there for me… is well with my soul. I’m not suggesting these things are appropriate for everyone..l.but they did bring comfort to us.

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