The “me” I like to be is starting to show herself and I’m pretty happy about it.
I’ve had more energy lately to tackle some cleaning and organizing projects that have been put off while I didn’t feel well.
It makes me insanely happy to see order and cleanliness starting to appear around here. The house wasn’t horrific but it wasn’t where I wanted to keep it.
While I was recuperating from Nathan’s birth and the side effects that happened shortly after, I just couldn’t tackle more than basic every day necessities.
Then there were the nursing challenges that kept me tied to the breast pump much of the day for months.
Then when baby started nursing, he nursed a lot and he was a pokey little nurser. I will say that I don’t regret one second of nursing him. I don’t regret the snoozes on the couch or all the TV shows I watched while he cuddled and nursed. I’m so thankful that he did start nursing after his refusal to nurse shortly after birth. But nursing does take time–sometimes a LOT of time and he nursed for a very long time. (This is also something for which I’m thankful!)
Then there was the hernia. I didn’t know what was causing the pain for a long time and I suffered a lot.
When I found out, I had to have a surgery and you guessed it–more recuperating and getting back to normal. It was the week of Thanksgiving before I felt remotely normal. From my surgery until then, I was overwhelmingly exhausted every day then suddenly (Praise God!) it lifted.
Now, a couple months later, I’m truly starting to realize how much better I feel. I beat myself up a little during these past couple years. Many days, all I was able to accomplish was dishes and a laundry and perhaps one more thing. It took me most of the day to do those things and get James where he needed to be or keep the house in a slight semblance of order.
I shouldn’t have been too hard on myself because I had two abdominal surgeries in 2 years time. I had a new baby. I have a teenager. I have a husband who travels for weeks at a time.
And on top of that, I still have to deal with all my previous physical issues–my bad neck and fibromyalgia, etc!
I think the point of this rambling post is to tell you I’m feeling better! But also to remind you and I to be careful when we have a friend or someone in our circle of acquaintances who just can’t keep up.
Maybe they they can’t keep their house sparkling clean when you feel that’s imperative to godliness.
Maybe they can’t make as many homemade things as others do.
Maybe they can’t take a meal to someone at church with a new baby.
Maybe they don’t live up to the latest “good wife” standard (set by whom?) I’m so thankful that my husband has been understanding of my limitations. He’s actually super sweet all the time and knows I have limitations. And he’s the one that matters, right?
Maybe you think they’re not carrying their weight.
When I could only do a couple things in the day and my house wasn’t up to my own standards (much less anyone else’s), I put pressure on myself.
I certainly didn’t need it from people who know nothing about my situation. But now that I’m feeling better and starting to work through the long list of things that need to be done to get my house back in shape (and my body too by the way….working on that), it was just a huge reminder to me to give people the benefit of the doubt when they handle their life differently than I do.
I literally could not do anything extra for many months and now I can. I’m getting better and feeling more energy and able to tackle more projects and I’m really happy that’s the case.
Before, I really could not look outside of anything more than things that were absolutely necessary.
If you know people dealing with emotionally difficult or physically difficult situations, they may not need you to come clean their house or make them a meal, but at the very least the need their friends and acquaintances to refrain from passing judgment on their accomplishments or lack thereof.
That’s my little PSA for the day.
And my praise!