I was thinking about inviting some friends over now that the weather is getting nice. We have a fenced in yard with all the escape routes closed off. We have nice grass and a patio. We have a play house and a sandbox and a slide and things to ride on.
I thought it would be fun to have some of Nathan’s little friends from church over to hang out. Then I thought about the best route to the back yard and it’s a mess. It’s a BIG mess.
Lee is remodeling our back porch and there is wood and sawdust and our belongings everywhere. I mean everywhere.
Parts of the ceiling are torn away. There are some huge cobwebs that haven’t been pulled down yet. There’s pieces of trash randomly plopped all over everything. One of my box of books split open and is spilling onto the floor.
The tools and paint and supplies are all over the place too. We try to straighten it up a little bit but we gave up on cleaning and organizing until Lee is done with the project. With his schedule and limited time at home, well, you can imagine this mess has been there for a long time and it will probably be there for a long time.
I’m not sure who is “safe” to invite over. Who would come over and play and not make judgments about me when they saw that mess. Oh sure most people could understand why it’s a mess while remodeling but why is it a mess when the work isn’t going on?
I have friends who wouldn’t care but they don’t have little ones like Nathan. I probably will go ahead and take the plunge and the chance that they will decide things about me that may not be true based on what that porch looks like. Maybe we’ll have a great time and maybe they will not mind my mess at all. Maybe just maybe they would say, “Let me help you clean this up.” (A girl can dream?)
Life is a bit like that porch of mine. Sometimes we have things that are such a mess. Things that we ARE working on and things that we know need to change but everything isn’t taken care of yet. It’s hard to know who is safe and who is a good person to be transparent with.
I know that it’s good to be transparent with everyone but unfortunately some people aren’t trustworthy with our messes. Some people create their own story about us based on very limited information. Some people see our messes and are delighted. Some people see our messes and point fingers and look down their noses pretending they have no messes in their lives.
But thankfully some people say, “Hey! let me help you clean this up.”
Figuring out who these “let me help you” people are is the hard work. Learning to pray for wisdom and discernment and trusting God to bring these people into our lives is part of our life journey.
I’m thankful for many trustworthy people in my life. I’m working on being thankful for those that I’ve discovered are not trustworthy, because I learn lessons from them too.